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Meet The Dolphynes

Meet The Dolphynes EP3 – Office Sessions & Vengeance

Another Friday, another #MTD episode! So we’ve had 2 encounters with the lil Dolphyne tribe. Time to go deeper and discover warris gonna be happening in the next couple of weeks. In the meantime, can I give a couple of shout-outs? Special shout-outs to Aseye (Adzo baby!😘😘), Edwina (my only golden lady💛💛) and Yvonne (one of my favourite foreheads😍😍), who celebrated their birthdays this week. Some of my beloved No. 9 gehs, hehe. And a special one to all my people that wrote the Law School Entrance Examination. Y’all did your part, God will definitely give you the victory!!

OK, I’m done with that. Let’s get into the story now…

“Look at her. Inhale fineness for the where?” Toby said scornfully, looking at his phone as he viewed his big sister’s status. “As for Diamond and her bathroom selfies…”

“She likes those things too much. If I wasn’t driving, like she’ll tell her something,” Oscar added, a grin of mischief on his face as he kept his eyes on the road.

“Don’t worry. I’m giving it to her right now.”

Kwame, sitting at the back of the car, shook his head in amusement. “You guys don’t like being nice to your sister, do you?”

“Nah, too boring,” the brothers said in unison.

Kwame stifled his laughter.

It was a lovely Monday morning, and the boys, being free, decided to take Kwame out to see the few malls in town. For starters, they were heading to the Palm Squares. Someway somehow, that was their favourite mall. Something neither their parents nor Diamond really understood, but they weren’t bothered.

As the traffic light turned green and Oscar stepped on the accelerator, Toby mischievously read out the response he was sending to Diamond. “Forehead reflecting the lights too much. Punctuated with a couple of emotionless face emojis!”

Kwame shook his head again. “You guys won’t leave Dee’s forehead alone anytime soon, will you?”

“In this season where girls with big foreheads are a target? No please,” Oscar replied. “Like we said, it’s too boring being nice to her. The twins will do that. She gushes over them 25/8, anyways.”

“Yeah. Our ‘Red Dress’ twins,” Toby added with a smirk on his face.

“Red Dress?” Kwame asked.

“Oh yeah,” Toby responded, turning to give him a mischievous grin. “The Red Dress twins.”

“I’m confused.”

“Haha. Well, legend has it that one night, Daddy and Ma had a little date night, and Ma showed up in this absolutely stunning red dress…”

Toby was cut short as the engine stopped, and the Toyota Yaris ceased movement in front of the Palace Mall, just as Oscar was turning in. The manual car it was, he had misjudged the half-clutch after slowing down, and the engine had stalled.

“Aargh! Little error in judgment, guys. Hold on,” Oscar grunted. He quickly switched on the hazard lights and put his hand out the window to apologize for the sudden stop as he readied himself to start up the engine.

The white Mercedes C250 behind them however, was not exactly sympathetic.

Oscar was startled and confused as the driver in the car beeped its horn relentlessly, showing a ridiculous level of impatience.

“Ah, but what’s wrong with the person? Can’t they see the hazard lights are on?” Toby said, surprised by the show of unreasonableness behind them.

“I don’t know!” Oscar responded, clearly disoriented by the incessant honking, unable to start the car.

Toby rolled down his window and put out his hand to indicate that the car couldn’t move and the driver could pass by, while Kwame turned to look at who it was that was acting so petty. He noticed a young lady behind the wheel, looking rather incensed.

“Oh, but can’t she just pass by without all this unnecessary noise?” Kwame asked, unamused by her actions.

Suddenly, she turned to the left and moved to the side of their car, windows rolled down.

“You stupid idiots! Do you think the road is your grandfather’s property that can be wasting my time? Fools!” she shrieked furiously at them before speeding off. From the looks of it, she was so impatient, she blatantly crossed the red light ahead, almost knocking down one of the hawkers around that area.

The guys were stunned, to say the least. Oscar managed to start up the engine, and moved on, shaking his head. “Some people in this country really don’t have sense.”

“Seriously. For goodness sake, the hazard lights were on. That should have given her a hint,” Kwame added, clearly disgusted by what had just happened. “Gracious. She could have just passed by us, without all this.”

“Hmm. Mad people on this road all around, chale,” Toby said. “She jumped the red light too. Very lucky there’s no policeman around. Else she’d be in trouble.”

“The hawkers aren’t amused at all,” Oscar said as they turned in to the entrance of the mall. “Look at the plantain chips seller in the PSG jersey. I think she almost ran him over. Saw him giving her the middle one. Even if you’re in a hurry, is it worth knocking someone over? Hoh!”

“Just look at that. Well, forget about her. No need for one deranged witch to spoil our day,” Kwame said as Oscar found a parking spot. Briefly checking his WhatsApp status, he noticed the status Diamond put up. First, the selfie that the guys were trolling her over, which was undoubtedly beautiful. Then a new one: Is there any place where exchange of siblings is allowed? I need new brothers 😑😑

The memory of the rude lady already taking a backseat, he grinned and announced, “Guys! Check your WhatsApp. Shots have officially been fired!”

***

Aniyah walked into the car park of the Voltage Office, a dark expression on her face. Damn it, this day couldn’t have been more annoying, she thought to herself as she walked up the steps to the main building. If that silly girl is there and she gives me any attitude, I’m ripping her eyeballs out.

If any day had seemingly decided to leave her super irritated and touchy, it was that day. From the moment she had woken up, it was as if the universe had taken a decision to ensure her plans for the day would be frustrated. Delays upon delays, from her trip to the bank to actually getting her business at the bank done. The impatient personality she was, she hadn’t held back in letting loose upon those who were assisting the universe in being such a jerk to her. From the idiots in that cheap Toyota Yaris to that silly plantain chips seller to the pathetic teller keeping her waiting for almost 15 minutes… nobody was free from the wrath of Aniyah Johnson when it flared up.

“Oh, thank goodness most of the workers aren’t around, especially that annoying secretary,” she said to herself as she made her way to the main man’s room. Most of the workers were out on break, and the secretary in question had gone to the washroom. She had already taken notice of Aniyah’s two visits to the office and often gave her this subtle look of disapproval, letting her know she was not convinced by the assertions of her boss that she was just another client.

Knocking on the door of the particular office she was headed to, she heard a gruff voice say loudly, “Come in.” She entered to find him sitting in his chair, looking pensive and thoughtful.

Dropping her bag and sunglasses on the chair nearby, she let out a big sigh and began. “Oh, Jesus Christ of Jamaica, Manny, you won’t believe how infuriating the day has been! Almost as if Mother Earth decided she’s going to be an absolute bitch to me today. Stupid drivers on the road, those low-life sellers on the street… honestly, Manny, if you guys get back into power, you so need to get those pieces of trash off the road and dump them in some camps far away from civilization. Ugh!”

Looking at her, he shook his head in amusement. “Not if, Aniyah. When we get back into power. Because we most surely will. And anyways, sorry about that. At least, you’re here. That’s what matters.”

“Oh yeah. At least Mother Earth couldn’t stop me from giving you lunch,” she said flirtatiously, moving in front of him to give him a full view of the body he had been lustfully daydreaming about since he left the house that morning.

His eyes already keenly focused on her, moving from her tight high waist jeans to her flowery blouse that made no attempt to cover her cleavage, he nodded, clearly excited by what he saw. “Was Rosa there?”

“That silly secretary of yours? Nope.”

“Good.” He sprung up and walked to the door, locking it. Then he moved to the windows and closed the blinds. Aniyah simply took off her heels and sat on his desk, smirking as she watched him ensure what was going to happen was as clandestine as possible. She unbuttoned her blouse as well.

Crossing her legs, she seductively called out, “Come get your bone, you hungry German shepherd!”

Closing the last blinds and nodding in satisfaction at the darkness of the room, he turned to see her comfortably seated and waiting for him. He stormed over to the table, testosterone levels at their zenith.

“You have no idea how hungry I am for those fruits of yours!”

Her brief giggles were silenced as he ravenously went straight for her lips for a couple of seconds before taking her blouse off and tossing it elsewhere as he proceeded to pull her jeans off.

Just another day of steamy, illicit passion between Emmanuel Adamtey and Aniyah Johnson.

***

Desert Eagle sat alone at his table at the waakye seller’s joint, silently observing Diamond and her friend as they came from the opposite direction, carrying their lunch for the day.

Barely paying attention to the food in front of him, his eyes narrowed as he observed her happily chatting with her colleague.

It had been a few days since that last rejection, and he was still livid.

As to what gave her the audacity to constantly say no to him, he had no idea, but what was certain in his mind was that it was totally unacceptable. Girls rarely said no to him, and even when they did, it was only a matter of time until they changed their minds and gave him carte blanche to do as he pleased with them.

And none of them had ever spoken to him as harshly as she did, as far as his memory could recollect. That outburst of hers had really delivered a nasty blow to his ego. How dare she talk to me like that? Such disrespect!

He might have given her a rainstorm of acrimony after she said that. But in reality, that was just the tip of the iceberg. He was not going to let her off the hook that easily. No way.

“Stupid girl,” he muttered to himself as she and her colleague went through the gate to their workplace. “Behaving as if your body is made out of gold. Nonsense! As if you be the only one you get curves like that. Bloody fool. Abi I say you go see your morda for here. For real, chale. Nobody trashes Desert Eagle like that. You figure sey you fit toy around plus gun, wey you no go hurt? She go see paa.”

He briefly paused to take a spoonful or two of the food, which was starting to become a hub for flies. Waving his hand to ensure those hovering around would stay far away from the still-quite-full plate, he nodded, an evil smirk on his face.

He had a plan.

“No two ways about it. By the time I’m through with that girl eh, she’ll regret ever letting it cross her mind to bounce me. She go regret to the extent sey she fit consider suicide. Mark it on the wall.”

Well, this is some level of salty and petty. What the heck is he up to? And that brash politician too doesn’t seem to respect himself that much to be doing tins in his office. Ah well, we wait to see what happens…

Categories
Of Voices And Vermin

Of Voices And Vermin #1

The day has arrived!!! After soooo long, your MCM is back with the series thing. It shall be an interesting one. Captivating, riveting, all the brofo you can think of that applies to this.

Shout out to all my Naija people, by the way. Henson, Chiderah, Angel, Sylvia, Helen… God bless your country!! I wanted to raise the jollof issue, but never mind. Hehe… it’s your day.

Okayyyy, time to dig in!!!

“So the people were insulting him after he jumped the red light?” I asked.

“Yes oo! Especially the guys at the back. It was so heated, eh! Never experienced anything like it before. Especially when the mate was cutting in and telling people to stop talking plenty. Oh, the insults they rained on him… I’m sure if a policeman had caught him mpo, he’ll prefer it.”

I grinned, shaking my head as I looked at Nii Ajei in the passenger seat, who had a slightly smaller smirk on his face. The phone was connected to the car’s Bluetooth, so of course it was on speaker. I whispered to him, “When dadabees experience the normal trotro life.”

He covered his mouth as he burst into laughter.

Oh, sorry. Man hasn’t introduced himself yet. My name is Sidney Allotey. And Nii Ajei is my younger brother. We’re separated by 3 years, but the bond we share? Tight. Extremely tight. So tight that he’s like the unofficial fifth member of my clique from university. But you’ll find out about that later.

So, we were on our way back from Cape Coast. My boss just had to throw a spanner in the works for Saturday when he gave me this assignment on Friday evening to go meet one of our major clients. I had plans of spending it with Nii, Bambi and Jerome! Arrgh! Well, Nii had nothing to do, so he was happy to tag along.

By the way, Bambi is my fiancé. And Jerome is her younger brother. He’s the one I was talking to. The boy is a typical dadaba; always been moved around by his parent’s drivers. It was somewhere last year when they decided he should be moving around by himself. He’s fourteen years old, by the way. And as you can tell by the conversation we were having, the boy seems quite enchanted by the experiences he’s having. He already told me about the time this huge lady took the seat next to the mate, and the mate complained about her taking up too much space, and the third time, the lady didn’t take kindly to his plenty talk, and blasted the daylight out of him.

According to him, she’s from my tribe. So… if you know, you know. Haha! 😆😆 I love my people.

Anyways, he continued rattling off all the experiences he had had the past week, which took another five minutes and fifty-two seconds. He clearly is yet to get used to the shortcuts and the annoying driving skills of these trotro drivers. But of course, small boys are young. He’ll get used to it.

He handed the phone to his sister.

“Bra Jerome is done with this week’s edition of Trotro Diaries, eh?” Bambi laughed.

“Yep! All juicy details downloaded into my ears,” I responded.

Sigh, Bambi Darkwah. 😘😘😘 The cutest girl I’ve ever set my eyes upon. Chanced upon her at a chibom joint not too far from her hostel, got smitten hard, chased her relentlessly, wrestled past all the “Gimme some time”, “I need to think about it” and “I’m not sure what I want” and won her heart. Even then, it was sweet all right, but a lot of stuff threatened to keep us away from each other. I don’t need to bore you with all the details of that. What matters for the meantime is that I finally get to put a ring on it in a few months time!! Sigh, Bambi. My caramel blessing!

“Hahaha! He’s getting the experience. I’ve told him there’s more in store kraaa. Like when he’ll one day have some kokonsa passenger watching his phone as he’s chatting on Whatsapp…”

“Herh, that thing is so annoying!” Nii Ajei blurted out. “Then they’ll be reading your conversation. Like, warris dat?”

“Shocks me kraa,” I added. “That thing is witchcraft pɛɛɛ!”

“Tell me about it. There was one time I was chatting with Mabel, and this guy sitting next to me suddenly started leaning in my direction…”

I noticed Nii Ajei’s grimace as Bambi started her own story. He mouthed, “We’re missing the game on Citi!”

Hand on my forehead, I mouthed back, “I knowwwwww!!!”

*****************

Two hours later, we had safely arrived at our Regimanuel Gray estate home, after all that intense traffic. Ugh! Thank God for automatic cars, honestly. I like the good old manual and all, but let’s be serious. Half-clutch in that insane pile-up? Chale, chale, stop. I do enough exercise.

So we were ready to get in and take out the stuff and relax. Until…

“Oh crap! You didn’t remind me to get the Ideal milk?” I groaned out loud, just as I stopped.

Nii placed his right hand over his face. “Arrrrrrrgghhhh! Escaped my mind from the moment that Mr. Music Man hour began, honestly.”

I gave him a side eye. “Blame it on Kojo Antwi, abi?”

He gave me a silly grin in return. “Our old folks taught us well.”

I shook my head. Yep, all those family journeys in the past, with Kojo Antwi on heavy rotation, has definitely made a mark on us. “You diɛɛ, no worries. Let me go to the supermarket down the road. You can take the Fante kenkey inside and check if the Premier League highlights is on, na the way these commentators were screaming over that Dele Alli goal diɛɛ, man has to see it.”

“Mm-hmm,” Nii Ajei said as he reached over to the back to take the two bags of Fante kenkey.

Yamoransa Fante kenkey!! ❤❤ That junction is a legendary one. Dotted with all those Fante kenkey sellers, ever ready to rush upon any car that stops so they can make some sales. Anyone who’s schooled in the Central Region knows that place too well. The way three of them rushed to the car when we stopped. The plenty “ebei, bra” and things. If we didn’t exercise a good level of firmness and gentleness, we’d probably have the back seat filled up with those blue rubber bags filled with the Fante kenkey. No kidding. Those ladies can give pressure!!

“Chale, then blend about three of them in the meantime, so when I come, we just add the milk and have our mashke for the evening,” I told him.

“Okay, no problem,” he responded.

He stepped out of the car and entered through the gate as I turned the car to move to the supermarket.

**********************

As I took my change from the shop attendant, my phone started to ring. I looked at the caller ID.

It was Kwabena.

So Kwabena is my unofficial ‘brother’. My roommate from university. He’s the first… no, wait. Second member of the university clique I mentioned. I’m the first one, after all. And among the four (five-ish) of us, he is the loudest and most unpredictable. If I were to be given 1 cedi for every single time that guy said stuff that left my mouth hanging… chale, I’d build a sensational mansion for myself.

I’ll give one example. Back in school, I was a huge Grey’s Anatomy fan. He wasn’t. One day, I’m watching my thing, and this boy passes by my laptop, sees Cristina Yang and says, “Ah, wey lady too this, wey ihn face check like confused duck?”

S-M-H. 🤦🏾‍♂🤦🏾‍♂🤦🏾‍♂🤦🏾‍♂🤦🏾‍♂🤦🏾‍♂🤦🏾‍♂🤦🏾‍♂🤦🏾‍♂🤦🏾‍♂🤦🏾‍♂🤦🏾‍♂

To this day, I still can’t understand how that nonsensical statement entered his brain. Like, how????

Ah well, I thank God for Ewurabena. His wife. She knows how to somehow neutralize that foolishness in him. They’ve been together for so long (although there was a break-up in there at some point), and they complement each other so well (if only you could see their pictures! Goodness, they’ll make you melt, I promise!) even though they’re so different (Ewurabena is so quiet and gentle, and Kwabena… well, I already mentioned it).

He’s a handful, alright, but I wouldn’t exchange him for any other ‘well-behaved’ guy. He’s a wonderful friend. And a very loyal one, too.

“Chale, wassup?” I asked.

“I dey oo, Sid. You return from Cape?”

“Yeah, I dey Accra now. We return not too long ago. I just go buy some Ideal milk for the supermarket. Nii dey house.”

“Oh, cool. So chale, he be OK now?”

I hesitated, not too sure what answer to give. “Chaleeee, ibi difficult to tell. He dey act happy and all, but I no know whether ibi mask or he’s really getting over it.”

“Hmmm… dicey issue… Ewurabena won talk plus you.”

“Sure, sure.”

As I sat in the car, I held on, listening to the couple as Kwabena gave the phone and, from the sounds of it, took Jemima from her.

Yeah, I’m sure you can tell. Jemima is their daughter. Their one year old daughter. It still amuses me sometimes to know this cannonball friend of mine is a husband and a father. He’s a great one, though.

“Ei, Daddy Kwabena on duty!” I said teasingly.

Ewurabena’s gentle laughter was the next thing I heard. “Most amazing daddy in the world. Jemmy couldn’t have had a better man to call Daddy. How are you, by the way?”

Vintage Mrs. Afriyie. The way this girl loves him so deeply eh, it’s not a joking distin. Always got something sweet to say about her king.

“I’m good oo. Just still unsure what to do about Nii. The last time we spoke about it, he fiercely insisted he was fine. Since then, I’m just treating him normally. But the sagging shoulders and the quiet periods still persist.”

“Hmmmm. I think we should give him a bit of time. There’s a lot I’d want to ask, but I’m thinking it’ll be better if we meet you and get more info. So do we meet after church tomorrow?”

“As long as Kwabena is staying home, taking care of Jemmy. I’m fine.”

She laughed. “Don’t do that to him.”

“Tomorrow is fine by me.”

“Great,” she responded. “Have a good night, then, and send my regards to Nii.”

“Yes, Mrs. Afriyie. Good night to you too, and your husband and daughter.”

I hung up, started the engine and moved back home.

Sigh. Nii Ajei Allotey. My younger brother.

He means a lot to me.

That’s why I’m so worried about him.

Hmmm… 🤔🤔🧐🧐 I wonder what it could be that has Sidney worried for his brother. He seemed pretty fine throughout this episode to me. Well, things aren’t always as they seem, so let’s see what comes on Friday!!