You're Gonna Regret This

You’re Gonna Regret This! Ep 10 – A Slash Kings Meeting

So clearly, this episode has to do with a certain meeting between the trio. We’re about to see how it goes…

“AH! Are you serious? So you beat him up again? With a plank?”

“Yes! We gave it to him again. With a plank. You get problem?”

It was Thursday, and the Slash Kings were in Ambradu and Jake’s classroom, one of their regular meeting places after school had closed. Ambradu finally was ready to talk to them.

The only problem was, it wasn’t the meeting Jake had hoped for. He had decided the end of the week would be best, but this was a sudden and impromptu one.

So Ambradu had overheard one student talking about how he had discreetly chanced upon the other two descending heavily on some strange boy around the flats, and had had a strong feeling that it was the strange boy they had unleashed their cruelty upon, and upon calling for this meeting and confronting them, Faisal had bluntly admitted that it was the boy they had pummeled a few weeks ago.

To say Ambradu was furious would have been an understatement. Especially upon knowing Faisal went as far as to use other objects on the boy. That was an unspoken rule they had. Not because of concern for their victims, but just to avoid getting into big trouble where the damage might require hospitalization.

“Ah, but what dey wrong you guys? So the kiddie dey ein somewhere dey do ein own thing, wey you just drag am go beat am? Wey you use wooden blocks too? Ah! Inobi wana hands pɛ we dey take do these things?”

Faisal’s facial expression made it clear he was not moved. “Whatever, nigga. We beat am finish. That be all.”

Ambradu was really starting to grow weary of this boy’s state of mind. “Faisal, what is the meaning of this? We already dealt with him weeks ago. Is there the need to repeat it, and make it even worse? Massa, this one diɛɛ, you niggas really f**k up.”

Jake looked confused. This was not the Ambradu he had known for years. The Ambradu he knew was heartless and would rather chew terazzo than show compassion to any young boy or girl. Now he was showing concern for this lame kid who he had led to give a beatdown a few weeks ago. And it was clear the fact that they attacked him was what had angered him, not really the fact that Faisal used foreign objects in beating him.

“Ah, Ambradu, this is really becoming confusing. Where from this kindness syndrome-“

“Make you no take your body come, ma guy!” Ambradu cut him short. “I no tell you niggas before sey if we dey do wana things sef, make we no take am go extremes? You dey there dey watch this boy make he try kill innocent boy, you say what? Make you no annoy me!”

Jake zipped up. That was a pretty aggressive bark from his friend, and he didn’t have the heart to shoot back at him.

Faisal, as unrepentant as ever, yawned. “Ambradu, I really don’t care about all that-“

“Well, you better care. Because that was so unnecessary. And you’ve hurt a poor little young man for nothing.”

“Na that one too for concern me? Boy, I don’t give a f…”

“WILL YOU STOP TALKING LIKE A F**KING RETARD, FAISAL! Wht the f**k is wrong with you? Everyday, violence, violence, violence. Ah, massa, wey senseless approach to life too this? You get brain ooo, use am! Inobi everything you for use violence! Ah!”

That outburst was not expected by the other two.

And Faisal was not pleased at all. For someone who enjoyed dishing out abusive words on a regular, he had a poor tolerance threshold of receiving same. Apathy was quickly overtaken by fury as he glared at Ambradu.

“See, nigga, you dey bore me already, wey I take my anger all put that silly boy ein top. If you no watch your mouth, the energy I take beat am, I go take come you your top. Kwasia! Ibi me you dey diss? You fool papa!”

“Massa, massa, comot for there! You figure sey I dey fear you and your aggressive nature? Stupid beast! Kwasia, if inobi for this thing, like you be my level sef? Inobi some two-by-four slum you dey stay inside wey you dey talk plus somebody like me like that? Ofui, you get privilege sef sey you dey galley plus me. Like you for apply sef get job sey you dey wipe my ass for my house before you go survive. Senseless pauper! Odwan!”

You could just tell Ambradu had been itching to whip Faisal with those words ever since he had started talking recklessly to him. The time for choosing peace and calm was over; he was now ready to match him boot for boot.

And as the two stood face-to-face, looking each other furiously in the eye, it was clear this argument would soon get physical if Jake didn’t get a hold of the situation.

Especially given how enraged Faisal was by that outburst.

“Chale, guys. Guys, I dey beg. This no dey hia. I beg, just cut top. I dey beg,” Jake pleaded as he tried to be the peacemaker, standing in between them.

Faisal, however, was not in the mood for peace. Shoving Jake aside, he lifted his index finger and pointed it right in Ambradu’s face. “This go be the last time you ever go talk s**t like that about me, you dey hear?”

Ambradu was not amused by that action. “Massa, get your finger out of my face.”

“I say make you never say that s**t about me again!”

“Wey me too, I say get your f**king finger out of my face!”

“Or else what? What you go do?”

“Make you no test me, my guy. I say, get your finger out of my face!”

“And I say what you go do? Huh? What you go do?”

“You go make I strike if you no jie your finger in the next 3 seconds.”

“Go strike your morda! Onye gbemi!”

The next action: a swift hook landing right on Faisal’s cheek.


Jake’s shout for calm was as useless as the rest of the letters in the word queue. As far as his friends were concerned, it was time for mortal combat.

Having stumbled back while holding his cheek, Faisal’s eyes raged as he glared at Ambradu.

He then lunged at him, grabbing him by the throat. Ambradu, however, easily swatted off his outstretched arm and rammed his elbow into Faisal’s face.

Stumbling back again, Faisal winced in pain as he held his cheek. The impact was a stinging one.

A stinging impact that briefly made him oblivious to an onrushing Ambradu.

The passionate wrestling fan he was, he hit Faisal with a spear so accurate, he probably would have received a standing ovation from Goldberg and Roman Reigns.

The impact brought out a loud “Ooooooooooooow!” from Faisal as he was slammed to the floor by his current aggressor.

On top of him, a snarling Ambradu grabbed him by the collar and delivered two sharp shots to Faisal’s face. His friend, already dazed by the pain of that impact, only delved deeper into his state of stupor with those quick punches to the face.

At this rate, it wasn’t a fight anymore. The ever-belligerent Faisal was getting his butt whipped by Ambradu. Clearly, his strength only lay in that venomous pink organ in his mouth.

His cheeks enountered about four more jabs before Jake came to his rescue for a few seconds.

“Stop! Stop!”

Pulling Ambradu off their friend was not an easy task, as Jake was pushed aside once. Delivering one more blow to his nose, Jake’s second attempt at pulling him off was successful.

Although as he dragged Ambradu off a clearly shaken Faisal, already bleeding at the nose, he nearly ran the risk of getting hit himself.

“Get the f**k off me, you idiot!” Ambradu barked at him, swinging an aggressive arm in his direction.

Had it been Faisal, he probably would have heeded straight away and cowered away. But he wasn’t afraid of his dear friend.

“Stop it, Ambradu! Get a hold of yourself!” he fired back. “All this no dey hia in the least. Ah, what this?”

“Me you dey biz me what this? Don’t be silly! As we always dey this place we dey hurt people just for the sake of it, you no dey sit down think sey what this? Huh? You no dey sit down think about these things?”

Confusion was the only thing you would find on Jake’s face. “Ah, ibi sakeof this small boy ein matter you dey mention this? Ah, ma guy, you dey take this thing too-“

“Nigga, f**k the small boy ein matter! You no get brain? You no get heart? You no get conscience sey all these things we dey do no be helpful? If we dey hurt people, e no dey touch you sey this no be right? You! You Jake Yorke, son of the most religious couple I know. Your conscience no dey prick you?”

“You’ve gone to find yourself some God, haven’t you?” Faisal weakly but scornfully coughed from his lying place. “Pathetic ethereal…”

“Make you no do make I kick that your diseased face. Aboa!” Ambradu snapped, moving to where he lay to inflict more damage on him, only to be restrained by Jake.

“Chale, chale, stop, stop. Chale, I don’t know where this one too dey come from. I really don’t. Is it because of this that you needed to beat Faisal? Massa, we be paddies ooo. Come on!”

Ambradu’s upper lip curled in disgust. “This nyash-hole be my friend? Apuu torr! This useless, confused idiot wey dissings and unnecessary aggression p3 he know? Massa, this toilet bowl no be my paddy. Make you never put this fool and ‘my friend’ in the same sentence again. Stupid piece of s**t!”

“Ambradu, please! Calm down!” Jake pleaded, his hands on his friend’s shoulders. “I dey beg you, please. Calm down!”

Ambradu shook off his hands. “NO! don’t tell me to calm down. I’ve had enough of this. And you know what? I’m done with this group! Yeah, that’s right. No more Slash Kings!”

Jake sighed and shook his head. Ambradu’s emotions were most definitely in overdrive. “Ma guy, don’t say that…”

“No, I’m serious! It’s very clear you guys see nothing wrong with all this. But I do. Now I see everything wrong with what we’ve been doing these past few years, and I can’t continue this way anymore. I can’t continue leading you guys to dish out unnecessary abuse on young kids like this. I can’t. I just can’t. And I swear to God, if I have to find myself in the same company as this asshole, I will kill him. So please, I’m done with y’all.”

“Yeah. Run away with your pathetic little self. I always knew you were a piece of-“

Ambradu’s foot made contact with Faisal’s chest before the rest of that insult came out of his mouth.

“Open your mouth again, and I will rearrange your f**king ugly face! Stupid pig!”

Jake, who had been taken unawares by that action, once again stepped in. “Chale! Chale… chale, stop this. Ma guy, just let yourself run out of steam. I beg you. There’s no need for all you’re saying…”

“There is every f**king need for every f**king thing I’m saying. And don’t get me annoyed by saying I’m high on emotions right now. Nonsense! Make you no take your body come kraaa. You wey everyday, you dey do your body ‘My mummy prays for me’, ‘my daddy prays for me’. Kwasia! You figure sey ibi permission to fool? Make you no bring yourself make I destroy you. Jon boy!”

Jake’s eyes narrowed. Now he was being targeted, and he didn’t like it one bit. “Oh, so now ibi me my top you dey take this thing come, eh. You, echill. Just lef here. If you want run away from the group, fine. Nobody go miss you sef. Rubbish!”

“Rubbish your mother and your father!”

Only the Lord knew how much those kind of statements pricked Jake’s feelings. And at that moment, if another punch had to be thrown, he would definitely have loved to be the one bloddying Ambradu on the nose. But he was not a good fighter in the least, and if Faisal’s predicament was anything to go by, he knew Ambradu would put the hurting on him too.

In any case, Ambradu had already turned his back, grabbing his bag as he rushed out of the classroom.

For a moment, the atmosphere was an eerie one. It felt so strange.

Anger. Disgust. Disunity.

They felt so tangible at that moment, and they were not comfortable to the senses at all.

As a group, they had always had disagreements and arguments. But never had a dispute become so large, it denigrated into fights and personal insults. This was different, and worst of all, it affected the very root of their reason for being the group they were.

And somehow, he had a hunch that this was no fluke. That despite his attempts to chalk it down to high tempers, Ambradu just might have been serious.

The Slash Kings might just have split up.

Just like that.

“Kwasia boy! Jake, I no tell you sey he be stupid idiot? Gyimi nipa! Me, I say inobi because of any small boy or ethereal s**t biaa. Ibi the Stephanie girl e dump am wey he dey take misbehave. Na me, I no see boy wey he fool like that. Aboa, this 2-by-4 p***y. This p***y wey she most likely no dey wash am better sef. P***y wey by now sef, she make like 7 different boys chop already…”

Faisal’s silly little rant was on the periphery of Jake’s attention span as he stood there. He shook his head. Damn it, Ambradu, I’m so, so disappointed in you. After all these years of leading the way and showing me what rocks, you’re suddenly playing this Princess Diana vibe? Chale, I’m so, so disappointed… I dunno what to do about this, but…


Jake turned. “Huh?”

“You too, what dey wrong you? I dey call for tissue make I wipe my nose, you no dey hear? Ah! Hurry up and get me tissue for the bathroom there. Check fast!”

So that escalated quickly! And I think it’s been simmering till now. And for all his brash talk, Faisal isn’t that strong, is he? Well, the crazy parts of this story are coming up now!

You're Gonna Regret This

You’re Gonna Regret This! Ep 9 – Release Tension

“Jesus! What kind of plot does the enemy have up his sleeves?” Mrs. Yorke gasped as she folded her arms. Her first born had entered the room with a very forlorn expression, and upon asking what was wrong, had told her about a very weird and pretty horrific dream concerning him and his friends.

In the dream, the trio had been in some kind of long but cramped up building, with each person standing on another’s shoulders. Faisal on the ground, with Jake on his shoulders, and Ambradu at the top, looking through a small window. Suddenly, Ambradu raised a finger, which had something red on it. Almost like blood.

Immediately, chaos ensued.

The strange part about it, though? Jake couldn’t remember what kind of chaos it was that ensued.

Either the room bursting into flames or a room full of blood was what happened. But that was a hazy detail in Jake’s mind. Whatever it was, though, it had not been pleasant. And he remembered hearing screams and wails in the dream.

Springing up from his bed in pure fright, only one place to head for was on his mind: his parents’ room.

His father was in the bathroom as he narrated the tale to his mother, but Jake knew one thing was for sure: the two of them would hold his hands, fervently and ferociously rebuke whatever plan the enemy had planned for and shower him with blessings to counter those evil plots.

Which is why he came there in the first place.

His father came out of the bathroom, and upon seeing the grave expressions on the faces of his wife and son, asked what was wrong. Jake duly gave him an account of the dream.

Mr. Yorke crossed his arms, deep in thought for a moment, then started. “Hmmm, I dunno what exactly it’ll mean, but it’s obvious the devil has set his sights on you and your friends. For whatever reason, he wants to wreak havoc on you guys. But listen, you are a child of the light, not of the darkness, and John 1 verse 5 makes it clear that darkness can never comprehend or overcome the light. Let us pray and bind those powers right now in the name of Jesus! None of you shall be touched or harmed in the mighty name of Jesus! Let’s pray!”

Hands held as they formed a prayer circle, the atmosphere immediately caught fire as Mr. and Mrs. Yorke fiercely prayed in tongues, declaring war on the powers behind the scenes.

As Jake prayed along with them, other thoughts went through his mind.

Should I tell the boys about this dream?

It look less than a second for him to immediately answer this in the negative. Word of another bad dream was the last thing the Slash Kings needed to hear. Given Ambradu’s last discussion with them concerning that strange boy, this would only strengthen his belief. As for Faisal, the least said about his passionate antagonism towards things beyond the physical realm, the better.

Besides, as he had already said, even if there was something spiritually wrong, the two adults in front of him were there.

Spiritual giants who he trusted to pray away any ungodly plan against him. And of course, in praying for him, they always included his friends, so he knew they would be covered too.

Even Faisal, Mr. I-Don’t-Believe-In-All-These-Spiritual-Things, would be covered.

There was nothing to worry about.

Nothing at all.

Everything would be just fine.


“Good morning,” Jake muttered as he took his seat next to Ambradu at the bus stop where they always met.

“Yeah, good morning,” Ambradu mumbled. He was still in no mood to seriously engage his best friend or Faisal; his mind was still occupied with the young boy.

He had been up all night, thinking long and hard about the issue. And while starting to regret laying a finger on the young man, it had now bled into reconsidering this whole Slash King vibe.

Yes, having power was sweet, no doubt. But was it really worth trampling upon others? Even if there was no motivation to help those below him, wouldn’t it be better to just leave them alone than to pump his ego with their tears and pain?

It hadn’t been easy. Being cruel and vindictive to those younger and less financially fortunate than him was a trait he had thrived on. The knowledge that he could get away with a lot because his father would come in with threats and warnings always gingered him to carry on. Indeed, money stopped a lot of nonsense. But now, it didn’t seem so straightforward…

This was something he needed to deal with personally, however. If their reaction to the previous day’s events was anything to go by, there was no way Jake and Faisal would be pleased to hear this. The latter would definitely fly into some ridiculous rage, while the former would just grumble ad nauseam. He preferred to keep mute about it.

After about twenty minutes of silence between the two, a trotro stopped by the bus stop, and out stepped Faisal, the regular cold look on his face. As Ambradu and Jake stood up to join him, they greeted each other in rather stiff tones of voice. Making their way to the school premises, the same aura of silence that had kept Ambradu and Jake quiet continued its reign.

It wasn’t long, however, until Faisal dethroned it. In his usual brash, no-filter style.

“Chale, you guys. I dey beg, that your spiritual spiritual talk you dey like do, you for shun. Coz you start dey make my mind dey play plus me.”

The two looked at him, puzzled expressions on their faces.

“Ah, yestee, I dey go bath norr, for mirror inside, I dey see some weird writing for top. I no know where e come from. I see norr, the writing disappear. You niggas dey raise these funny funny things make I start dey bore. Make you shun those things!”

Ambradu’s look was one of disgust. He already was not in the mood for communicating with him, and the last thing he needed to hear was this skeptic ranting about how supernatural stuff supposedly didn’t exist and that they were filling his brain with fluff.

“Ah, but where from this?” he immediately shot back. “Does this warrant such careless babbling? Ah, you too, wossop? So another strange thing happened yesterday or what?”

“Ah, what you dey try tell me? Me wey you dey tell me sey I dey babble carelessly?” Faisal spat, not amused by that response. It was quite clear he was going to ignore that last question.

“Na if you just gbele your mof dey talk talk anyhow, what make I talk? Make I talk sey you get sweet voice or what? Massa, make you no start. Ibi too early for those your unnecessary rants about spiritual things.”

If being told he was babbling carelessly annoyed Faisal, that comment about unnecessary rants doubled the irritation in his chest.

“Kwasia, ibi me you dey talk to like that? See, make you no make I bore. I still vex over the foolish thing you do yestee. Reason up make we move aa, see some jon nibbies you dey talk for there. Aboa, make you no do make I slap you…”

“Chale, chale, Faisal, Faisal, e chill, e chill,” Jake intervened, standing between the two and visibly preventing Faisal from moving any closer to Ambradu.

Ambradu simply shook his head and smirked. Lord knew how much those nasty words made him want to give that boy a dirty left hook. But he just wasn’t in the mood for that. Peace still looked more attractive to him at that point in time. “You know what? Lemme give you some time to cool down. Jake, you can help him out. I need to get some work done. See you niggas around.”

Jake was not amused, as Ambradu quickened his footsteps, separating himself from them. “Ah, but Ambradu, what this? We all dey go the same place, why you-“

“Bye, niggas!” Ambradu responded without turning his head to look at them.

Jake and Faisal stopped for a moment, watching him as he briskly made his way to the school on his own.

Jake shook his head. This was so not like the guy he had known for years. “Ah, so what at all is wrong with Ambradu?”

“He fool, that be all. I no tell you yestee sey he no get sense? Gyimi! See how he dey talk to me sef. He make lucky waa, like inobi small beating I go beat am for here…”

“Chale, I dey beg, cool down,” Jake interrupted, patting a still miffed Faisal on the back. “This no go help we. I no know what dey wrong am, but chale, we for settle am. We for restore the unity, else, chale, enemies go come wreck wana movement.”

“Inobi he naaa he dey wreck the movement? Mtcheww. Ah, I figure sey Ambradu be hard guy wey he get brain. Saana he be toke. Chale, he dey bore me. Make we forget am. We no dey hia am again.”

“You too, relax eh. Ah!” Jake shot back. Faisal’s hot-headedness was starting to go over the top now, and he wasn’t amused at all. Just a tiny misunderstanding, and this boy was already willing to break things up? “Tempers dey high. Make we all cool down. This no be any matter wey we go split up. Just some funny occurrences wey dey play plus ein head. This no be any serious matter.”

Faisal shot him a dirty look, his upper lip curled in disgust. “You sef, make you no take your matter come. As I talk earlier, you then am all dey pollute my mind plus that your religious bulls**t. Now I dey see things wey e no dey sef. Watch yourself kraaa.”

With that, Faisal broke away, also moving in his own direction.

Jake sighed.

Definitely not a good morning so far. And with what Faisal was saying, he had had another strange encounter the previous night. His laughable attempt to downplay it wasn’t fooling Jake; he knew whatever it was was real.

But hey, whatever it was, it wasn’t going to work. After all, his parents had prayed it off them earlier that morning, so hopefully, things would get a little better.


The time was 4:20.

The venue: Barnes Road.

Jake and Faisal were walking along that path, coming from the shop nearby to get themselves some drinks.

Once again, another day where Ambradu totally shunned their company and moved solo. During break time, it was only the two of them that occupied their bench; Ambradu chose to stay in the class, doing whatever it was he decided to do. Jake had made known to him his intentions to sit the three of them down and settle the issue.

Ambradu’s response? “Sure. But not now. Get that crude, unrefined Philistine under control. Then we can talk.”

Jake could tell his best friend was getting weary of all those invectives Faisal threw at him, and was itching to let him have it. But that would only be like salt in a wound. Jake wanted the normal order of things restored, so he decided to let him be for now while he tried to bring Faisal’s temper under control.

It wasn’t easy, though. In reality, Jake was slightly afraid of Faisal, and tried his possible best to err on the side of caution in dealing with him. So at best, firm pleas were all he could offer when Faisal continued to spit out his contempt for Ambradu throughout the day.

After school hours, however, Faisal agreed to calm down and halt the insults. After a few discussions, where he agreed that this didn’t need to go overboard, he then declared the need to release some tension and suggested they get themselves some Blue Skies.

So the two were walking the path, taking big swigs of their drinks as they discussed the success and failure of their recent bets.

“Ei, so you dey do Turkish league all?” Jakes asked, surprise on his face.

“Of course! Hw3! You dey depend on just Premier League then La Liga? Massa, I dey bet for Finland and Sweden leagues sef. Ibi you wey you no make wild.”

“But chale, I no dey follow them leagues. French league sef, if I dey bet for top aaa, just PSG.”

“Hoh, massa, so Lille thems all, you no dey bet for dema top? Rennes, Marseille all dey there. Massa, you for be adventurous ooo! If you no cast your net into the deep, forget oo. So-so fingerlings nkwaa you go dey catch.”

As they continued to discuss football betting matters, passing by the uncompleted store, Jake commented, “So this store sef, ibi sey them no dey want finish am or what?”

“Me sef, I dey wonder. The way them no touch am like four months this…” Faisal started.

His eyes falling upon the bench nearby, he stopped.

There was a young boy seated on it. Hands on his laps, head down, seemingly deep in thought.

A young boy who he immediately recognized.

“Chale, Jake,” he whispered. “Inobi that small boy we beat beat am the last time?”

Jake looked in the direction of the bench and squinted. “Yeah, that be the same boy.”

Faisal scoffed. “So this one wey Ambradu dey talk sey he dey do things behind the scenes? Ah, massa. See the way he dey sit there like some jon bi. Chale, make I release some tension for in top.”

Before Jake could respond, he was already trudging over to the bench. He had not been thinking about inflicting cruelty on anyone at that time. But hey, it had been a while, so why not? The fact that Ambradu was suddenly chickening out didn’t have to stop them from having a good time.

The boy lifted his head up too late; by the time he realised who was near, Faisal already had him in his grips.

“ABi you say we go regret sey we beat you?” Faisal scoffed as he dragged the boy off the bench and towards the store. “Nanka what you go dey do we? Huh? You go fit beat me? You go fit beat am? Huh?”

By the time he was done asking those questions, the three of them were in the uncompleted store. The young lad looked proper terrified. One could tell from the dread in his eyes that that fateful late afternoon beatdown had been a source of PTSD flashbacks, and to encounter them in any way would be one absolutely terrifying nightmare.

Some nightmares unfortunately do come true.

“I say as you dey lie there dey get mof tell we sey we go regret, like what you go do?” Faisal repeated, that familiar wicked look on his face as he continued to hold the youngster tightly by the scruff of the neck.

The young man trembled, unable to speak, as Jake snickered and mocked.

Without warning, Faisal let his neck go, held his shoulders and pulled his upper body downwards, and drove a knee right into his stomach.

A groan of pain escaped his lips as he fell on his knees, grabbing his stomach. Before the exquisiteness of the pain could fully register, Jake placed a foot on his back and pushed him to the floor.

Then the abuse began.

Faisal and Jake played out an unwelcome sequel to the first pounding as they kicked the youngster again and again. His pitiful cries for mercy were drowned out by the sickening desire to be as nasty as possible. Just for the crack.

“Kwasia boy! You know the niggas you dey deal with wey you dey threaten we?”

The person behind that sentence, obviously Faisal, then moved over to pick a long block of wood. Grabbing it steadily in his left hand, he swung it at the boy’s backside.

A loud scream was the reaction to that piece of wood making contact with his skin.

Even Jake was stunned, suddenly becoming a spectator as Faisal whacked the boy a couple of times with the plank. He did not anticipate things escalating that much. If the Slash Kings resorting to all-out violence, foreign objects usually weren’t involved.

But his fear of Faisal’s explosive temperament still existed, and he’d rather let him have his way than become a victim of his sharp tongue.

“Aboa toke! Next time, gbele your mof talk s**t make we see again! Stupid cow!” Faisal snarled as he tossed the plank aside. Turning to Jake, who still had a stunned expression, he sneered, “Na you too, what dey wrong you?”

“Uhh… the plank. Isn’t it… you know we don’t…”

“Oh, massa, forget. That be how I release my tension. Besides, you no see sey I whack the ass p3? Boss, make we move. The tension all lef now.”

“Umm, sure, sure,” Jake agreed, quickly moving as he took a look at the boy. He seemed to have lost consciousness, blacking out from all that pain. Chale, this nigga, ibi like I for do make Mummy pray give am ooo. Coz this ein over-the-top attitude… if God go make e change the plenty insults and love for violence, that go be cool…

Stepping out behind Faisal, he looked around. As usual, not a soul in sight. Barnes Road being the ever secluded area it was.

“Well, at least, nobody dey around, so we’re good to go,” Jake muttered as they moved away from the ‘crime scene’.

“Of course nobody dey. Barnes Road di33, what you dey expect? Ghost road ankasa. Anyway, make we switch back to the betting. So this one day, eh, I go stake for ADO Den Haag dema top…”

“Ah, ADO Den Haag? But they, them be proper team sef for the Eredivisie there?”

“Boy, make I finish, eh!”

So Faisal and Jake descended upon the boy again? Hmmm. I have a feeling things are gonna go pretty bad for them soon…

You're Gonna Regret This

You’re Gonna Regret This! Ep 8 – Cracks In The Wall

So the little break is over, and it’s time to see what’s coming up! Strange things have been happening, and I think it’s around this time we’re gonna get some pretty interesting revelations. Like I said, this is a crazy story, so let’s keep moving!

“They’re coming! They’re coming!”

Ever since the Slash Kings had become untouchable on the school premises, there was this settled custom whereby a student would be at the gate to watch out for the trio whenever they were on their way. Once the student made this announcement, all who were hanging around the compound would rush into their classrooms.

This morning, the alarm had been sounded, and the students around duly obliged.

Of course, every now and then, somebody would slack and still hang around on the school compound, and would pay dearly for their lax response. The somebody for that morning was young Desmond.

Busily wolfing down the sandwich his mother made for him that morning, he only realized his error when he turned his back and saw the trio only a couple of metres away from the bench on which he sat. He sprang up from his seat and began to speed off.

Unfortunately for him, Faisal was quick to react to his actions, and in a matter of seconds, had him by the collar of his shirt.

“Na where you figure sey you dey go? Huh?”

Young Desmond inwardly cursed his lack of attention to the usual clarion call. The goodness of his mother’s tuna sandwiches. His decision to eat them as soon as he got to school. The way GHI teachers had totally washed their hands off curbing this daily terror.

So many factors to blame, but at the end of it all, here he was, being heckled by the terrible tripartite.

Well, not all of them, actually.

Yes, the harsh Faisal had him by the shirt, roughing him up while the despicable Jake was in front of him, mocking him. But… strangely enough, the leader stood back, with a look of discomfort on his face. For the first time, he watched the ongoing rustling with a displeasure of sorts.

Very unlike the vintage Ambradu Gyekye everybody knew and feared.

“Chale, Ambradu, come make we sound am, eh!” Jake called to him in an excited tone. As usual, he was giddy at the prospect of seeing his best friend and fellow bully dish out cruelty on others. Faisal was already being his regular belligerent and horrible self; Ambradu’s coldhearted demeanour was left to make the show of sadism complete.

That, much to their surprise, was not going to be the case that morning.

“Chale, chale, guys, e chill. Make we lef am.”

Those were the words that came out of Ambradu’s mouth. And Faisal, Jake and Desmond turned to him, absolutely stunned. The leader of this school mafia was asking for mercy? What??!!

Faisal had a mixture of confusion and rage on his face. “Ah! But you, wassup?”

Jake’s facial expression also conveyed his displeasure. “What are you talking about?”

Ambradu had a strange look that resembled something like… like compassion. “Please, ibi early. Lef am for now. We go deal with am later.”

Even more disbelief on their faces. Faisal looked ready to explode, but held back. He let go of Desmond’s shirt and pushed him to the ground. “Lef my face before something wicked enter my head. HURRY UP!”

Equally as shocked by this unusual show of kindness, Desmond quickly raised himself and ran off.

Now the two turned to Ambradu. “Massa, what dey wrong you?” Faisal demanded.

“Ehh! Ah! You really make I shock give you,” Jake added disapprovingly. “Early s3 sen? Ah, you paaa…”

“Chale, chale, I dey beg, I no get time for this,” Ambradu interjected, a straight look on his face. “I say ibi too early for that. Period. That be all.”

“Massa, massa, inobi you naaa wey you say any time be good time to stamp your authority?” Faisal shot back. “Ah, you make I shake this boy for nothing. Mtcheww!”

“Ah! Guy! I only said it’s too early. I never said we should stop. What be your beef?”

“Ma guy, ma guy, this no go wash. Too early for the where? Like Faisal talk, ibi you naa wey you make we start this early morning terror thing sef. That be why the kiddies always dey scatter if we dey come. That be why we all dey come together. So where from this? Where from this… this fake compassion? Hoh!” Jake grumbled.

“Make you no mind am,” Faisal sneered. “Sakeof some cheap ass p***y he no fit chop for some strange ass reason, he dey here dey come do ein body Mother Teresa. Kwasiasem kwa!”

That outburst did not go down well with Ambradu, who immediately narrowed his eyes. He knew Faisal would get angry at this, but that certainly did not mean he would be tolerating any form of disrespect. And especially not disrespect aimed at innocent Stephanie.

“Massa, make you no make I bore this morning. Plenty things dey my mind top. Make you no do make I vex,” he warned Faisal, his straight look switching to an annoyed one.

“Oh, comot for there! You make we bore already, now you dey come talk something else. Comot for there kraa. Jon!”

Even though he loved having him around, especially when it was time to go on the prowl, Ambradu did not always enjoy the lack of filter Faisal had when it came to his words. And right there and then, he would’ve loved nothing more than to give him a good punch to teach him a lesson. But as he had already mentioned, too many things were on his mind, and what he wanted at that moment was peace, not violence.

So he simply shook his head and responded, “Chale, forget this. I dey go class. See you later.”

Walking away from the two, who still had contempt written on their faces, only he knew what had his mind occupied over the past couple of days.

Questions upon questions.

Had this issue not reared its unusual head, he would have been occupied with moving heaven and earth to try and restore the broken relationship with Stephanie. Anything to have the opportunity to get back into her panties and finally carry out his most sensual fantasies. But her decision to end their short fling was honestly one of the last things on his mind.

What held his mind captive? That strange boy.

And suddenly, upon deeper introspection, he was starting to wonder if all the cruelty he had unleashed upon younger ones was worth it. Seeing them cower and tremble in fear at his presence had felt so right for so long. But now… he had started wondering…

Is it as right as I think it is?


“But he too, I dey shock give am ooo. Ah. Where from this sudden behaviour? Why he dey spoil the movement we get?” Jake commented as he and Faisal talked on the phone later that night.

Since their little squabble, Ambradu had detached himself totally from them. He basically ignored Jake in class, stayed in the class during break time when they were supposed to be hanging out at their usual spot, and left fot home without telling any of them. When they confronted him on their WhatsApp page later that evening, he repeated the claim that a lot was on his mind, adding that he would hit them up at the right time.

This didn’t go down well with them at all. Now they were discussing his behaviour. While Jake had wondered if the strange boy was the one occupying Ambradu’s brain, Faisal dismissed that notion and asserted that it was his breakup that was making him so weak.

“Me sef,” Faisal replied. “He be stupid boy. So sakeof Stephanie dawg you, you turn dolu-dolu. Kwasia. This two-by-four p***y too, we dey cry over am? He really be jon. I figure sey he get sense, but chale, I see sey one dot sef no dey in brain inside.”

“Hmmmm,” Jake responded. Inasmuch as he was infuriated by Ambradu’s behaviour that morning, that was still his best friend, and hearing him get insulted brutally didn’t make him very pleased.

But that was vintage Faisal for you. Invoke his wrath and you’d receive the nastiest bile from him, no matter who you were. And he did not want to put himself in the firing line for that.

“So for you, inobi that small boy ein matter?”

“Massa, forget that idiot boy! He no get any relevance to this whole thing. Ibi the Stephanie thing naaa. Jon things nkwaa.”

Another Hmmmm followed.

“We all get one mind. We know sey if we dey move aa, this be the agenda for the day. You p3, sakeof emotional foolishness, you turn Mother Teresa. Chale, chale, he really make I bore. Wey the way he sheda dawg we the whole day too… hoh. Massa, make I cut top, na I make heated already for here.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jake agreed. “In my opinion, make we all relax. Then maybe, moro or something, I go make we all sit down then straighten things out. Coz ibi unity e dey give we the strength ooo. So you di33, cool down. He make I bore am too, but make we all relax.”

“Yooo, I hear you. Then chale, I dey go chop something then bed.”

“Alright, chale. Later.”

“Yeah, bye.”


Half an hour later, Faisal was done with his dinner. He had made some quick corned beef stew and eaten it with some Fante kenkey.

Now as he headed for the bathroom, it was time for him to take a shower before retiring to bed.

One of the advantages of the apartment was that both rooms had their own bathrooms. So Faisal and Jahwad were spared the torture of having to share one. With the amount of care and affection the two brothers shared, it was obvious either one would rather swallow a basket of thumbtacks than have to use the same bathroom with the other.

Standing in front of the mirror, Faisal sighed as he began to take his singlet off. “Another long ass day,” he muttered as he tossed it on the floor.

The lights then suddenly went off.

Standing in the darkness, he let out a big, irritated Mtcheww. “F**k ECG!” he cursed.

The lights suddenly returned.

His eyes still fixed on the mirror, fright gripped him at what he saw.

“WHAT THE F**K!” he yelped as he jumped back.

Whatever happened in those three seconds of darkness, he had no idea. But what was in front of him now was beyond creepy.

‘THE BIRD IS IN THE HOLE!’ had been scrawled on the mirror, all caps, in what looked like lipstick.

Eyes wide, heartbeat on steroids, Faisal shivered at the sight before him. What in the world was this?

The lights went off once again. Faisal shrieked for a moment.

Five seconds later, the lights returned.

No writing on the mirror.

His hand on his chest as he inhaled and exhaled, Faisal shook his head. “What the f**k, man? What was that?”

An absolutely creepy occurrence. Was he dreaming or something? Was his mind playing tricks on him? Were all those so-called spiritual issues Ambradu and Jake raised starting to have an effect on him?

Faisal shook his head. In his mind, that was the only logical conclusion. “Chale, these strange things be on the rise now. I for tell them niggas make them shun that dema spiritual spiritual talk. E start dey play plus my mind. Kwasiafuo. I go tell them my mind moro make them shun them things.”

Clearly, Faisal’s mind is made up on these issues. I wonder what’s gonna happen tomorrow…

You're Gonna Regret This

You’re Gonna Regret This! Ep 7 – For All Your ‘Toughness’

So, Ambradu’s plan to go bang Stephanie at home failed. What’s gonna come out of it?

“Ambradu, are you ready?”

“Yes, Mummy!” Ambradu called from his bedroom as he put his shoes on. Next to him on the bed lay his phone, with his WhatsApp open.

On his chats with Stephanie.

He had sent over a dozen messages since last night, as well as about three voice notes. All pleading for forgiveness.

As he sat there, looking at the phone, she was yet to answer any of those texts. Of course, the greater likelihood was that she wasn’t going to respond to them at all.

It was only after he got home, knowing he was safe and sound from the disgusting little vermin, that he realized he had left Stephanie to deal with the intrusion. And he didn’t need the brain of a genius to know that she would be massively upset with him. So he tried calling her to apologize.

She refused to pick.

He kept calling until she blocked his number from calling her.

Then he started with the messages. Somehow she didn’t block him there, but still refused to answer any of his messages.

Now as he dressed up for school that morning, the fright from the strange happening had subsided, but he was pretty pissed. To think that he had had the chance to do what he had been itching to do to her, only for those stupid insects to come out of nowhere and mess things up.

“F**k! I don’t know how what happened last night happened,” he grumbled to himself. “She was right there for the taking. Those sweet breasts, those legs, that fresh p***y. Mtcheww, ah! It’s so annoying.”

As he finished tying his shoelaces, he looked at his phone.

Still no response from Stephanie.

He sighed and folded his arms. “What the hell is going on, chale? Too much strange s**t is happening. It’s crazy. Weird dreams. Strange occurrences. How? What’s going on?”

Briefly taking a minute or two to ponder over the past few occurrences, a thought came to his head.

Remember that kid who said you’ll regret this? Didn’t all this madness start after that? Coz, you’ve never been in predicaments like this until now.

Ambradu shook his head and laughed. “Oh, naaa, can’t be possible. That jon little boy? Tweakai! Why, ibi juju he get or something? Kiddie like that? Oh, kai. It’s not possible. It can never be possible.”

Yep, it sounded ridiculous at that point. How would some scrawny little boy be behind all the stuff ongoing? A scrawny little boy who simply uttered some wishful words? Definitely couldn’t be the case.

But think about it. He’s not a familiar face around that area. How often have you seen him since the time you beat him up? Or even before then? And it’s not like it’s just you alone; the others have things going on too. All at the same time. Yo, this is more than coincidence, chale.

Ambradu placed his chin on his palm. Now that he thought about it, there was some form of truth to it. The three of them barely ever spoke about having nightmares or scary visions and trances. But within these past couple of days, all of them seemed to be experiencing some sort of strange misfortune.

What were the odds of he and Jake having something wrong happen on a test they were both fully prepared for? Why would the other two also suddenly be having weird dreams after his very strange one?

Suddenly, this possibility didn’t sound so stupid.

“Hmmmmm. Chale. It might be true ooo. Coz all this s**t is too weird to be just a coincidence…”


“Sorry, Mummy! I’m coming!”


Time for break.

As the students got out of their seats, ready to take full advantage of the next 30 to 45 minutes, one of them was Stephanie Owusu. Excitedly chatting with her sitting partner, she was looking forward to having a pack of the fried rice Aunty Zaida made so excellently.

Reaching the door, her partner noticed she had left her purse, so Stephanie waited as she rushed to go get it. As she waited, Ambradu approached her. He hadn’t gotten the opportunity to speak to her directly as she had come a little late that morning. But he just had to take a chance.

“Steph! Yo, Steph!” he called softly.

The glare she gave him was a fierce one. “Leave me alone,” she responded flatly.

“Stephanie, please. I’m sorry…”

“I said leave me alone!” she snapped, yanking her hand away from his. As her partner returned with her purse, she gave him another hard look, punctuated it with a crisp ‘mtcheww’, then walked away.

Ambradu stood there, ears on fire as he felt super embarrassed. That last snap of hers was pretty loud, so everyone in the class saw what happened.

Including Jake.


“Ah, really? You make serious?” Faisal asked, looking very confused.

The Slash Kings were seated at their regular bench, with their leader in a clearly crestfallen mood. Jake had asked what happened, following the disgrace Stephanie had just dished upon his best friend, and Ambradu had proceeded to tell them about how what was supposed to be a grand night of biblically knowing Stephanie turned into the strangest and most frightening Wednesday evening he had ever experienced.

“Chale, this be one of the craziest things I ever hear for my life inside,” Jake commented, also looking as puzzled as Faisal. “Na plenty cockroaches like that diɛɛ, unless Fear Factor ooo.”

Ambradu shook his head. “Guys, I dey my bed top the whole night, I no dey understand. Up till now, I no dey understand. E check like some Goosebumps book matter bi. Like how? E no be just a number of cockroaches oo. A whole f**king army. Like some 10 or so still be someway give me, but this one, them go pass like hundred sef.”

The other two gasped. “Ei, how!” Faisal wondered out loud.

“Too weird, chale,” Jake agreed. “So that be why she bore you?”

“Yeah. You know me and my hatred for those things. I just flip wey I comot lef the house. I never tell am sey I get that phobia, so by now, she probably figure sey I be some coward or something.”

“Slowww, chale,” Faisal murmured. “After all the anticipation sey you go f**k am well well.”

“Mtcheww. Chale. Last night was the perfect opportunity. I strip the girl finish ooo, I dey come give am fire, wey chale, all this s**t happen. I still no dey get how all this happen. Still.”

Faisal and Jake gave off solemn Hmmms as they sat there.

“But chale, something else come my mind inside this morning…”

The other two looked at him curiously.

“Boys, this wana power we get over this area, inobi today we start. We dey show squad who be the bosses since last two years, wey notin ever dey happen. But chale, e come my mind inside this morning… you dey kai that kiddie we go beat for the uncompleted store inside like one and a half months ago?”

“The boy wey e diss we?” Jake asked.

Ambradu nodded.

“Yeah, yeah, I remember.”

“Chale, ever since we beat am, weird weird things dey happen for wana top. I know sey maybe e go be coincidence, but see oo, ibi early March wey we beat am. The next week norr, funny things start happen. I go write test wey suddenly, I black out. Jake go get some strange diarrhoea from somewhere. Some sexy daydream bi I dey do for my head inside, suddenly I dey car inside e dey go collide with tipper truck. You guys dey talk about strange recurring nightmares and s**t. Bird in the hole, choking in dreams, chale…

“I go fit be wrong. Inobi sey I’ve found the answer to our problems, but… me, I just start dey get feeling sey something dey go on behind the scenes, coz the way them dey happen… we for question things.”

Faisal was already rolling his eyes and shaking his head by the time he was done. Not the greatest of surprises. Once this had something to do with the supernatural, you already knew his opinion on it.

“Massa, massa, massa, these be pure coincidences. That be all. Hoh, this one too, you dey come attribute this to some metaphysical whatever whatever? Abeg, make we think. Blanking out be normal thing sometimes. Dreams too no be any serious eyi biaa, just wana subconscious e dey job as we dey sleep. Boss, forget all that transcendental s**t.”

Ambradu simply let out a quiet ‘Hmmmm’. He hadn’t expected anything different from this skeptic friend of his.

Jake shook his head. “Nahhhh, chale, I’d have to chalk it down to coincidences for me. Even though my reasoning be different from Faisal. Abi we know sey he no dey believe in all these things, but me, I dey believe. But I dey believe my parents dema prayers pass this. So for me, these all be random occurrences. Even if by some twist of fate, the kiddie in question get power, ma guy, power pass power! My mother ein prayers alone sef no go make e work.”

Ambradu remained quiet.

“Chale, Ambradu, forget that idea. Nothing dey go on. Ibi random occurrences kɛkɛ. nothing more than that. So life dey. Ups and downs dey inside. Inobi anything.”

He sighed. He hadn’t expected the boys to agree with him on this, and maybe it was a bit of a stretch. But… he just didn’t feel the same way they did.

It sounded far too easy to just chalk it up to chance. There had to be something more to it…



It was closing time, and he was seated with a forlorn expression on his face. One of his classmates approached him with a folded piece of paper.

Not saying a word, he nodded and took it, already guessing who it was from.

He opened it up.

I’m sorry, Ambradu, but for all your toughness, you’re really a weak boy. So you couldn’t stay and help me deal with the cockroaches? Such a disappointment. And you’re there saying you have a phobia of them. Give me a break. Please, I can’t deal with soft boys like you, so it’s over. Please stop sending me WhatsApp messages and trying to call me. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.

He sighed as he read the short but succinct break-up note from her. Shaking his head, he looked outside the classroom. His gaze was upon the path near Barnes Road.

The path where he and the others went to beat that boy. The boy who was now somehow occupying his thoughts.

Thoughts were running through his mind so hard, this breakup note would have to be processed later.

Was he just becoming paranoid and crazy, or was that boy truly behind all the madness he, Jake and Faisal had been having in bits and pieces?

Were his weak whispers that day as they walked out on him just the mere whimpers of a wounded kid, or there was more than what meets the eye?

Was all this bullying and harassment actually worth it?

I think things might start changing soon. And this is where it gets pretty intense. Second half to come in a week’s time, so stay tuned!!

You're Gonna Regret This

You’re Gonna Regret This! Ep 6 – Wednesday Evening

With a title like this, it’s pretty clear this is centred around what Ambradu and his girlfriend planned. I have a feeling something’s gonna happen…

“Heyyyy Ambradu!”

The big, naughty smile on Stephanie’s face as she opened the door, coupled with the devastating sight of her in a small crop top and panties.

Ambradu’s dream standing right before him.

Wednesday evening had finally arrived, and an excited Ambradu had been itching for the day to end. He literally had had no energy for leading the boys to go on the prowl for the day; thoughts of them in a sweaty, inflamed entanglement were all that engulfed his mind. He virtually rushed home to go prepare himself and wait for evening to arrive, egged on by excited encouragement from Faisal and Jake.

Once it did, and he received the text message: Babe, he’s gone now. Come over, he was springing out of his bed, with his fib that he had work to do with Jake at his home well rehearsed and recited.

Now he was finally at the door, looking at the object of his horniest fantasies. And she was every bit as delicious as he had always pictured her to be.

“F**king hell,” he whispered as he sized her up and down, taking in the delightful scenery of her delicious anatomy. She decided to turn around for him, giggling as she did so. Deciding to waste no time once she faced him again, he went straight for her lips, wrapping his arms around her as they began a fierce and passionate liplock.

The door was slammed shut.

In no time flat, they were right where they had planned the action for the evening, hungrily kissing and fondling each other on the couch.

“Mmmm,” Ambradu hummed after a moment of reprise, squeezing Stephanie’s butt as she sat on top of him. “You’re so sexy, baby.”

She simply giggled and continued to lock her lips against his, enjoying the moment of bliss.

It was finally coming to pass. After all the dirty fantasies and that one extremely weird daydream that inexplicably turned into a nightmare, here he was, seated on the couch in Stephanie’s home, with GHI’s sexiest girl sitting on top of him with little clothing, ready to let him have her for dinner.

Absolutely nothing would get in the way of this. Nothing.

“You ready, booboo?” Stephanie asked as they separated, but continued to fondle each other.

He looked into her eyes and snickered. “Ready? I’ve been ready long before I left the house.”

She giggled, then lifted her hands in the air, inviting him to take off her shirt.

Ohh yes! Time to play with those sweet breasts of hers. Ugh, damn, dreams do come true!

He excitedly grabbed the bottom of her shirt and slowly lifted it up.

“Hehehe, you sexy little piece of… WHAT THE F***!”

Excitement suddenly turned to horror as his eyes fell upon what lay underneath.

He hurriedly pulled her shirt back down and pushed her off his lap, stunned at what he had just seen.

Surely it had to be some kind of illusion, right?

Surely it had to be some sick, twisted and absolutely impossible illusion.

Because what in the freaking hell were a bunch of cockroaches doing all over her skin under the shirt?!

“Ah! What’s wrong with you?”

Stephanie looked at him, a puzzled and outraged expression on her face. She had been expecting him to have started working her body into a sexual frenzy by now. Not pushing her off like she had some contagious pores on her body.

He shook his head, not knowing what to say. How in the world could he tell her what he’d just seemed to have seen? She’d obviously think he was crazy, or had suddenly chickened out and didn’t want to take things to the next level. Which was impossible, given the huge bulge downstairs.

“I-I-I… I dunno. I just…”

Whatever it was he wanted to say didn’t come out. Which clearly irked Stephanie.

“Ah, what do you mean you don’t know? Why, is there gogomi on my body or something that you’re screaming like that? Ah!”

Ambradu really did not know what to say at that moment. Obviously, it wasn’t gogomi he had seen. It was something else. Something that creeped him out more than gogomi. But how could those creepy crawlies be on her body, to begin with? It had to be a ridiculous vision.

He shook his head. This could not be real. It must have been his eyes playing tricks on him. “Babe, you know what? My mind just played some stupid trick on me. Forgive me. Let’s just get it on.”

Stephanie looked pretty irritated, ready to give him a piece of her mind. With the way she had prepared for this evening, this outburst was not part of the plan, and she really felt like ripping him apart.

That changed, however, upon the feel of his hands squeezing her breasts. On second thought, getting fondled and caressed by her man was far more enjoyable than shouting at her man. So she switched back to giggle mode and lifted her hands up again.

Ambradu yanked the top off.

No sign of cockroaches on her body.

I knew it! Just my stupid imagination.

They continued getting hot and heavy. In a matter of minutes, they were both topless.

“Wanna get inside of me?” Stephanie whispered seductively, giving him a light grind to trigger him even more.

“So f**king bad, baby. I wanna f**k you real good,” Ambradu whispered back, his hands on her rotating waist as he enjoyed the naughty movements on his lap. “You got the condom?”

Stephanie giggled. “Wait a minute. Lemme get it. It’s right on this coffee table.”

Ending her sensual enticing of him for a moment, she reached over to the opposite side to grab the rubber. Then she stopped.

“Oh crap.”

“What’s wrong?” Ambradu asked. “It’s not there?”

“Oh, it is. I just noticed that stupid thing on the wall.”

He looked in her direction, and upon seeing what she spoke of, felt his muscles tighten in discomfort.

A cockroach!

Was this some sort of coincidence?

His stomach churned as he observed the little insect on the wall. He really could not stand the mere sight of them; his fear of them was that bad.

“Ah, I thought we got rid of them after the extermination thingy we did last year. Well, forget it. I’ll deeeaallll…”

Her speech was interrupted by the sudden movement of the cockroach, as it flew in their direction.

A crawling cockroach was bad enough. A flying one… that just terrified the crap out of him.

He coiled in fright as the vile little insect made its way speedily toward them…

… only to get swatted by the pillow Stephanie quickly grabbed.

“Ugh! God, I hate having to deal with them and their flying antics. Mtcheww. Babe, forget them, I’m used to this s**t. Let’s just get back to business.”

Either she was too high on oestrogen to notice his brief moment of hyperventilation, or she simply ignored it. Whatever it was, his reaction to that flying terror was overlooked.

The panic in his system, however, was sweetly quelled by her, as she slid her hands down to unbutton his jeans and get inside his holy of holies. A grin came on his face. “Sure. Back to business.”

He dived for her lips once again, one hand urging her to keep her left hand inside his jeans. In a matter of a minute, she was on her back, fully bare before her boyfriend as he took off the last layer of clothing. The glint in his eyes as he scanned her from top to bottom could be described with only one word: hungry.

Time to give this sexy body some good ass licking before I dive into that sweet… oh, f**k.

Lifting his eyes briefly to ready himself for the action while tossing her panties on the floor, the kitchen door was in his sights, with the door slightly open. And the sight there was not one anybody would call pleasant.

“What the f**king hell?” he whispered.

“What?” Stephanie sat up and looked in his direction, wondering what had him entranced in the wrong way when he had special dinner right in front of him.

She gasped. “What in God’s name…”

The kitchen door was slightly ajar, and out of it was a horrific sight.


Many, many cockroaches.

The rate at which they were scurrying out, one would swear the Fear Factor team had brought them in for some crazy challenge; they were numerous.

Some climbed the walls, others spread to the dining room, others too approached the living room. It was not long before a frightening intrusion emerged from the kitchen.

To the katsaridaphobe, this was a picture of the hottest part of hell.

Ambradu, thus, saw this unfold before his eyes, and felt his bowels rise up into his oesophagus. This was the sickest sight his eyes could ever imagine. There was a reason he never watched Fear Factor; those cockroach-related challenges made for hellish viewing. And even then, they were on TV. So this… this was way worse.

His heart pounded furiously against his chest like a person who had been locked out of their house. Nausea in his throat to the uttermost. Suddenly, the thought of licking Stephanie all over and diving into the treasure between her legs was nowhere near appealing.

Only one thing appealed to him at that moment: running as fast as possible from this place!

“Oh my God, oh my God, where are they all from?” Stephanie whimpered, holding on to his arm. “Oh God, baby, what are we gonna do, what are-“

Some of the cockroaches on the wall got active with their wings and began to head in their direction.

That did it for Ambradu.


If Stephanie was seeking for her boy to provide some kind of protection, then tough luck.

An eardrum-bursting scream erupted from his lips as he shoved her aside, grabbed his shirt, and headed for the front door. Whatever happened with her in those split seconds was the last of his concerns. It was only about heeding that voice in his head.


And heed it he did.

Yep, that night of fornication was cancelled by the cockroaches. Gets crazier by the day…

You're Gonna Regret This

You’re Gonna Regret This! Ep 5 – The Bird Is In The Hole!

Ten minutes to seven o’ clock on a Tuesday morning, and in the residence of the Kadiri brothers, a two bedroom apartment in a flat, the younger one was all dressed up and ready to go to school.

As he stepped out of his room and closed the door, he looked at the room opposite him. The door was wide open. Meaning his brother was out of the room.

He rolled his eyes. Jahwad and his regular untidy and careless self.

He walked into the living room. There sat his brother in their small living room on the couch, busily fidgeting with his phone.

“I’m off to school now,” Faisal murmured as he walked past the couch and headed for the door.

Jahwad snorted in response.

Faisal shook his head as he slammed the front door shut.

To say he had a fractured relationship with his 22 year old brother would be a massive understatement; the guy barely paid much attention to his existence. They might have been brothers, all right, but they certainly were not friends in any way, shape or form. There might have been another person in the apartment, but Faisal was pretty much on his own.

In reality, Jahwad did not like his brother. Their mother unfortunately passed on while giving birth to him, and for that he bore a deep-seated grudge against Faisal. For the early periods of life, while they still lived with their father, this animosity toward Faisal was not revealed, although he never really gave his younger brother a chance to draw close to him.. It was when their father sent them to live in Accra that Jawad exploded one day and made his truest feelings known.

Faisal had not taken kindly to that outburst, and what ensued next was a violent scuffle between the two, where the younger one caused the older one to lose a tooth.

From that day, Jahwad decided to pretend like Faisal never existed. And so it was to that day. Whether his younger brother was home, had eaten or wasn’t feeling well was not the least of his concerns.

Aside sweet stuff and the Slash Kings, Faisal really had nothing else to turn to. His relationship with his father had also deteriorated over time. And with the boys, he preferred not to open up; he’d rather maintain the harsh, unpleasant aura that followed him around than become vulnerable.

Life wasn’t good for Faisal. But he had chosen to accept it as such, and compensated for it with his aggression and unfriendliness towards others.


“Chale, na ibi crazy ooo,” Ambradu said as the trio made their way to school. “Tipper truck ooo. I dey the car inside wey e dey drive straight into the truck. I tinup, sweat all dey my top.”

“Wow. That be some f**ked up s**t,” Faisal murmured, shaking his head.

“I swear. Mad s**t. But chale, ibi just a dream. As for the movement itself, e still dey come on. Hot and heavy kraaa!”

“Nice, nice. Spoil there kraa!”

“Yeah, yeah. Give to am,” Jake mumbled. “Chale, na I dey wedge make Faisal come, but me too, I have some nasty dream bi like that last night.”

The two looked at him.

“So I dey some room bi. Normal room with light. Na I dey play Killer Bean for my phone top. Suddenly, the room come turn black. Pitch black ooo. I dey look around dey try find some light bi aside the phone. I dey search naa, I dey see some eyes e dey watch me. Evil eyes paa. I see norr, the eyes just dey multiply. Before I fit talk jack, the eyes all dey surround me for the room inside. Chale, my heart all…

“But the scariest part be how some feeling bi wrap me. Chale, e make like some evil presence dey try choke me. I dey the dream inside, I no dey fit breathe. E make like my lungs all dey collapse. Then I tinup. Chale, the whole night, I no fit bed again. Herh!”

“Wow, that one too be some scary stuff,” Ambradu commented.

“Yeah. But I sure sey you go tell your mommi sey make she pray give you, abi?” Faisal asked, a hint of scorn in the question.

Jake knew what his response would be, but went on to answer. “Of course jor. A mother’s prayers. We no dey joke with them oo!”

Faisal shook his head as he scoffed under his breath. “Whatever floats your boat. As for me, this metaphysical, transcendental belief system no dey make any sense to me. This one, sometimes you go chop some funny chow wey e turn dream. E no dey hia any prayer whatever biaa. But chale, to each their own.”

Jake and Ambradu were silent. As far as religion and spiritual beliefs were concerned, they never liked to engage this friend of theirs. He never failed to voice out his disdain for the supernatural and make his contempt for religious stuff known. They didn’t really enjoy it, but they tolerated it to an extent.

“Yeah, to each their own,” Jake muttered.

Switching the topic quickly, Ambradu announced, “By the way, how you niggas see Stephanie ein pics?”

Faisal perked up at that question. “The one wey she dey wear the bralette and panties?”

“Yeah, chale. See eh, the girl be bad bitch for real!”

“I swear!” Jake agreed. “Crazy s**t dey that girl ein mind inside. Freaky things sorr.”

“Ibi serious, chale. Moro diɛɛ, no mercy for the cripple ooo!” Faisal urged him.

“Oh, Boss, no cripple for the mercy kraaa! See, by tomorrow gbɛkɛ, you guys go get a well-detailed, juicy account of me f**king Stephanie Owusu. For your ears only!”

Faisal and Jake cheered in approval as they continued to make their way to school.


“Subtitle: the mesophyll. The mesophyll is the part of the leaf concerned with photosynthesis. It is several layers of cells thick and consists of an upper pallisade tissue and lower spongy tissue…”

If there was any teacher who really knew how to bore Faisal’s class to tears, it was Mr. Ogoe, the Biology teacher. Whenever he came to class, it was nothing but dull, insipid reading of the notes. He read in a dry and boring voice, and barely took the time to explain the notes. One would easily believe he only intended to dump the notes on them and go.

Faisal sighed from his seat at the exact right corner of the classroom as he rubbed his eyes. Chale, chale, this Mr. Ogoe man dey bore!

It was taking every fibre of strength in him to keep his eyes open, as usual. He looked at his colleagues in front of him; his case was no different.

He tossed his head back, let out a huge sigh and widened his eyes as he focused on his notebook. “Chale, make we fight through this,” he muttered to himself. “Only seventy minutes more.”

He left a gap where he had missed some of the notes and continued from where Mr. Ogoe was reading, determined to soldier on. He had made it past so many of this dullard’s classes and would have to make it through many more, so time to toughen up and fight through the interminable dross.

Five minutes in, and the renewed fire he had lit within was already dying out. His eyelids grew heavy and his consciousness wavered in and out.

In and out.

In and out…

There were voices. Hushed voices. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he could hear them.

What was it they were saying? What were they talking about? Was he the topic?

And where were they coming from? Who were those behind the voices?

Folks from his hometown? Neighbours in the apartment? Classmates?

Who were they?

As these questions circled his brain, he heard one voice out of the lot.

“The bird is in the hole. The bird is in the hole.”

What bird? What hole? What the hell was that supposed to mean?

“The bird is in the hole. The bird is in the hole.”

The voice was slowly getting louder. And a little more urgent.

“The bird is in the hole. The bird is in the hole.”

The voice was getting louder and louder. Whoever was saying this weird phrase was getting agitated by the second.

“The bird is in the hole. The bird is in the hole.”

Who the hell was this? And why was he sounding so panicked?

“The bird is in the hole! The bird is in the hole!”

Faisal’s eyes popped open.

The weird little trance he had drifted into was over.

“Ugh,” he groaned to himself, rubbing them. “What the hell was that?”

He looked around as he shook his head to clear the bits of drowsiness out of his system.

Some of his colleagues were already far gone, as Mr. Ogoe droned on mindlessly. He sighed. I really hate this man.

Looking down at his notebook, he blinked twice at what he saw.

About four lines of notes, followed by six horribly scrawled lines of ‘The bird is in the hole’.

Faisal looked strangely at the words. “But what the f**k does this mean?” he wondered. “What bird? What hole? What the f**k is all this?”


He was seated on a bench in a green park, busily scrolling through Jodel to see what was new on the social media platform. He snickered as he observed some of the silly posts on there.

A young boy passed in front of him, holding a carton of Eku juice. As he lifted his eyes and observed what the youngster had in his hands, the switch in his brain flipped. Wicked mode activated.

“Herh! Herh! Come here!”

The boy turned and looked at him, then resumed walking away.

“Hey! I dey call you, you no dey hear? You fool, eh?”

Nothing ground his gears more than being ignored. The familiar flame of antagonism was lit by that. He immediately sprung to his feet, ready to give this boy the whooping of his life for having the temerity to ignore him.

The boy noticed this, and quickened his steps.

Faisal began to run after him, peeved in no time flat.

“Kwasia, I dey call you, you dey flex me. Aboa! Make I catch you. You go see your morda for here! Stupid fool!”

Usually, it took very little time for Faisal to catch up with his victims. But this kid seemed to be faster than the usual 10-12 year old. He chased him through the lane leading to his apartment. Now the boy was heading for the road on the other side of the apartment.

“I swear, I catch this kiddie, eh,” Faisal growled to himself as he continued to run after the young lad, who took a right turn just before the entrance to the apartment. Faisal followed suit, knowing it was the path to some rough road which led to a dead end. The end was as dead as this boy would be once Faisal finally pounced upon him.

As he made the turn, however, he found himself in a different place.

A dark room. And no boy to be found.

He looked confused. “Ah, but… the boy… the road… where?”

Suddenly, a very bright beam of light shone on him.


The piercing blinding nature of the bright light knocked him to the ground as he cried out in pain. Covering his eyes with his arms, he yelled, “Damnit, the light’s too bright. Turn the f**king beam off, you f**king-“

His little tirade was cut short by a hair-raising scream. The kind of screams you’d hear in horror movies. He looked around in fright. Who was that?

Then another scream came through. And another. And another.

Faisal gritted his teeth, his hands over his ears as those terrifying screams carried on. Who were those screaming? And why were they screaming?

Suddenly, that voice came up again. The voice he had heard earlier in the day.

With a higher level of panic and volume than before. And the same strange phrase.

“The bird is in the hole! The bird is in the hole!”

“What the hell does this mean?” Faisal yelled in frustration.



Faisal sprang up from his bed, soaked in sweat and apprehension. He placed his hand on his chest and felt his heart slamming against it.

He rarely ever had nightmares, and even when he did, they weren’t as terrifying and vivid as this. He could literally still hear faint echoes of the strange phrase in his ear, even as he sat there wide awake.

But he still couldn’t get it. He had been wondering what that statement was all about, long after the class ended. He had asked Ambradu and Jake about it after school, and none of them had a clue what it could mean. He had tried Googling the term and found pictures of owls and woodpeckers in their habitats, which seemed pretty normal. So what was it all about? And why was the voice screaming with such intensity and fear?

He shook his head and sighed. “Doesn’t make sense. Doesn’t make sense at all. Mtchew. Lemme go get some water and go back to sleep.”

Yep, now everyone’s been affected in one way or another. We can only wonder where things go from here…

You're Gonna Regret This

You’re Gonna Regret This! Ep 4 – What A Daydream!

What’s gonna happen next? We’re gonna find out now…

Oh, chale. So last night wey you arrive?

JAKE: Yeah ooo

No be small pumping them pump my stomach. Crazy

FAISAL: So ibi food poisoning?

JAKE: Yeah. But still no clue on the food. Very weird

Yh. Very weird.

But anyways, you dey house now, so…

JAKE: Oh yeah

I’ll be back on Monday morning

FAISAL: Nice, nice

A lazy Saturday afternoon saw Ambradu relaxing in his room, chatting on WhatsApp with his boys. After breakfast with his parents at about 10 am, he headed straight for his bedroom. His older brother was out of the country, and he mostly ignored the few servants in the house. So it was time to get lost in the worlds of FIFA, Call of Duty and God of War.

Three hours later, he decided to take a break and catch up on his chats. Jake, who had been admitted at the hospital after his diarrhoea episode, had returned home after undergoing a gastric suction. It had been a difficult couple of days for him, especially considering how the doctors couldn’t pinpoint what it was that caused the food posioning. But he was back to full heath now.

As he checked out some other chats, a call came through.

She smirked at the caller ID.

It was his dear Stephanie.

He pressed the receive button.


“Hey Ambraduuuuuu! Wassup?”

“Hehe, I’m good, I’m good. Was just chatting with my boys.”

“Oh, okay. Is Jake doing alright?”

“Oh yeah, yeah. He went to the hospital later and they said some food poisoning something bi. But he’s okay now.”

“Oh, okay, that’s good. Glad to hear that. Well, I’ve got some good news for you. News you’re gonna love.”

Ambradu smirked. “You’ve finally got a date for us?”

“Yep! Wednesday evening. My dad’s gonna be out for some board meeting. He’ll be out till about 10:30. Soooo, you know, hehe…”

Ambradu nodded, biting his lip excitedly. “Oh I definitely know. And gademmit, I’m already itching for Wednesday to come. Damn, I can’t wait to taste you for real.”

Stephanie giggled. “I can’t wait to taste you too. You really are my weakness, Ambradu.”

“Oh, I know, baby. I know. And you know you gotta meet me at the door with a lil sexy sum’n, right?”

“Hihihihi. I know, babe. Crop top and panties. Just for you.”


After a few more minutes of naughty talk and little gossip, the two said their goodbyes and hung up.

Putting his phone on the bed, Ambradu grinned as that burning feeling of excitement sparked up in his tummy again. So many daydreams of him and Stephanie since she said yes to him. Daydreams that would definitely be suited to the triple X side of the internet. Daydreams that would soon be made manifest on that Wednesday.

“F**k, I’m gonna enjoy eating this chic,” he murmured to himself as he laid on his back, putting his hands behind his head. “By the time we’re done, she’ll be singing Side To Side. Hehehe.”

Enjoying the rest and the burst of testosterone flowing through his veins, he decided to close his eyes. Time to enter into Daydream Land and create another deliciously sensual fantasy for his pleasure…


He loved risky, but this was certainly not what had crossed his mind when he was on his way to her place. This was extremely risky.

But hey, like he had told her earlier, the riskier, the sweeter. And per that, this put him at risk of getting diabetes.

Because it was super intense and heated in the back of Mr. Owusu’s Land Cruiser.

Five minutes had passed since the two teenagers excitedly entered Stephanie’s father’s spare car, and they were already getting it on, undressed and humping aggressively.

It was all gasps, sweat and lust as they unleashed their deepest cravings upon each other, lost in their own little world of euphoric pleasure. The sounds of Stephanie moaning and gasping were music to his ears as he worked her body like a grand piano. Having him inside her had her on the edge of delightful delirium as she bounced up and down, ecstasy blanking her mind to a T. 

As they slowed down with the bump and grind, she leaned down to kiss him passionately. He responded with like intensity, wrapping his arms around her waist. Upon separation, he smirked. “Goddamn, girl. You are so sweet.”

She laughed softly, then moved his head toward her exposed chest. He didn’t waste time accepting the obvious invitation.

“Mmmmmm… hihihihihihi…” she giggled as he began to work on her left breast greedily. Getting ravished by this bad boy was even sweeter than she had thought. He really knew how to use that tongue.

“Oh God, this is so sweet,” he gasped in between mouthfuls.

More giggles and soft touches on his head were the response.

“I swear to God, this must be what heaven feels like,” he thought to himself as he continued to fill his mouth with mammary glory, egged on by her soft giggles and sighs of joy. “Mmmmmm. Honestly, if sex is the fruit Adam ate that got him in trouble, I don’t blame him one bit…”

His moment of utopia was suddenly interrupted by a strange sound.

The engine had started up.

Ambradu immediately released Stephanie’s breast from his mouth as he turned his head to the front of the car. Indeed, the dashboard was lit up and the radio was on.

But nobody was seated in the driver’s seat. And there was no key in the ignition.

“What the hell?” Ambradu murmured. “Ah, babe, what’s -“

Turning his head, another shock met him he suddenly felt a weight off him. A weight that he had ravenously ravished a couple of seconds ago.

Stephanie had disappeared.

“Ah! What the f**k is going on?” Ambradu wondered, starting to panic. No sign of Stephanie or her clothing could be found in the car. Not even her bra, which he had excitedly flung to the passenger seat in the heat of the moment.

What in the heck was going on? Did she get out of the car herself? Couldn’t be possible, considering he didn’t hear the car door open. In any case, she was enjoying getting devoured, so leaving would be ridiculous.

So she disappeared? How? Why? To where?

This was beyond puzzling and frightening.

As he hurriedly put on his boxer shorts, the engine revved a couple of times, raising his tension level higher. How in God’s name was this car being revved when absolutely nobody was behind the steering wheel?

Well, whatever it was, he wasn’t willing to stick around to find out. He grabbed the rest of his clothes and opened the door.

Only one problem. It didn’t open; it was locked.

And his attempts to unlock it were strangely unsuccessful. The lock on the door refused to budge.

He switched to the other door. Same thing.

“Arrghh! F**king child lock!” he swore at the doors, then moved to the front passenger seat and tried to open it.

That too was locked, and refused to be unlocked.

And just as he was about to switch to the driver’s seat, the weirdest of feelings came over him. It was like an invisible seat belt had been strapped around his waist and his shoulders; suddenly, he couldn’t move.

If he had been panicked a few minutes ago, he was now outright terrified.

Struggling to free himself from whatever power it was that was holding on to, his stomach sank even further as he saw the gate open on its own. Wide open, the car engine gave another revving sound before speeding out of the house.

At this point, Ambradu was screaming.


His cries for help wouldn’t be heard, however, as the windows were closed.

As to how things had drastically changed in the past few minutes, he had no idea. Only a couple of minutes ago was he having sex with the prettiest girl in Gear House Institute in her daddy’s car. Now he was stuck alone in the car, which was speeding on an oddly empty road, with absolutely no driver.

Nightmarish stuff.

But nothing would have prepared him for what was next. Because the road wasn’t empty anymore.

Another vehicle appeared on the road.

A tipper truck.

And the Land Cruiser was heading right in its direction.

As Ambradu realized this, meltdown mode was activated. From banging on the windows to attempting to kick the lock open, he was absolutely hysterical, screaming himself hoarse as he tried to get out of the car.

Nothing worked.

The vehicles approached each other.



Top speed…

Impact imminent….

Terror in Ambradu’s heart as the tipper truck grew closer…


Ambradu sprung up from the bed, drenched in sweat and breathing heavily.

“What the f**k was that?”

He looked around, his chest heaving up and down as he tried to catch his breath. He used the edge of his shirt to wipe off the sweat from his face as he tried to calm himself down. In lying down and letting his hungry mind run wild with naughtiness, he had no idea how that suddenly switched.

How in the world did a lust-soaked fantasy turn into such a terrifying dream?

Things are slowly heating up with these guys, and you can only wonder where it goes from here…

You're Gonna Regret This

You’re Gonna Regret This! Ep 3 – What The Hell Happened?

“Herh, you! Come here!”

The young boy walking by the palm tree on the school compound froze, cursing his stars as he heard Ambradu’s voice call out to him.

The Slash Kings, as always, were seated at their bench. It was Thursday, and Ambradu and Jake had an upcoming class test after break, so they had some exercise books on their laps, busily doing some last minute cramming, while Faisal sat next to them, giving them little reminders here and there.

As long as they were outside, though, there was always time for some form of harassment. And once Ambradu saw the lad holding what was clearly a brand new Nataraj pen, he was only too happy to snatch that opportunity. Never mind the fact that he had two Bic pens in his pocket.

The young boy walked over to them reluctantly, his face already glum as he twisted his pen in his hand.

“Give me your pen. I’m going to write a test,” Ambradu ordered in a calm but authoritative voice.

The youngster looked down at his pen, then looked up at Ambradu, despair on his face. “But-but I need it for class-“

“I said, give me your pen!” Ambradu repeated, his voice a little louder.

The young boy looked pretty unhappy. This was a new pen he had just bought for the next class, now suddenly it was being seized by this meanie. Ugh! If only he hadn’t been holding it out for the world to see…

“Don’t make me ask again, boy. I said, give me your pen!” Ambradu stated again.

“Hey, he dey tell you something, you no go do?” Faisal barked fiercely at the boy. “Will you give him the pen and stop being stupid?”

The aggression in that voice was enough to move the youngster’s hand towards the one demanding it. Ambradu reached out, snatched the pen and with a dismissive wave of the hand, sacked the boy from his sight. The victim wished he could give them a piece of his mind, but the hostile look on Faisal’s face made him think otherwise. That belligerent boy would undoubtedly give him mental scars if he spoke any further.

He walked away, tears standing at the corners of his eyes, while Ambradu and Jake snickered at the look on Faisal’s face.

“Chale, Faisal, relax eh!” Ambradu laughed. “He take the pen give me. That be all.”

“But you no see how he do ein face afterwards?” Faisal argued. “Like he dey come argue plus we. He, he make lucky waa sey he no gbele ein mouth. Like he go see ein sorrmii for here. Aboa!”

“Eiiii, we beg, relax!” Jake added. “He no talk anything. He naa, he know, so chale, forget am. Anyways, Ambradu, this test, you make ready?” Jake asked.

“Ready to the fullest. Na I dey study all night ooo, so these last minute things just be embellishments give me.”

“Chaleyyy! You dey force ooo.”

“Hwɛɛ! After the way Ms. Kyei mark me down last term, I say I never go slack for Integrated Science again. This term, the classwork and homework all, if I go score low marks kraa, 7 over 10. I no dey slack.”

“Simple kraaa,” Faisal agreed. “You no for dey lose guard give the teachers kraaa.”

“Ah, Faisal, what e dey your hand inside?” Jake asked, a mischievous grin on his face.

Faisal looked down, then shut his eyes in embarrassment. “Oh s**t, I forgot myself.”

Earlier that morning, on the way to the bus stop where he usually met with the others, he had chanced upon a hawker selling Pebbles. One of his guilty pleasures. After debating within whether or not to buy some, the part of him arguing for the motion won and he bought about four small wrappings of the chocolate treats.

So much for staying off sweet stuff.

He hadn’t wanted the boys to see him betraying his promise, but at that moment, discretion evaded him, as the wrappers were in his hand for all to see.

“Ah. Herh, Faisal, Golden Tree pebbles you dey chop for there?” Ambradu asked. “Inobi you wey you say you dey shun all sweet things?”

The goofy and guilty expression on Faisal’s face as he covered his eyes was hilarious. “Chale… old habits dey die hard…”

“Eeei, sweet king nono! You dey sweet things pass! You no catch one week sef, you dey slip up. Eiiii, boy!”

Faisal was too shy to respond.

“See, Jake, this boy, the way he get sweet tooth eh, e go translate to the waist pɛɛ. He go like c**t chop roff!”

Jake burst into loud laughter as Faisal’s eyes widened. Then he shook his head as he laughed. “You this Ambradu boy eh, you f**k up, I swear! Herrhhh!”

As they laughed, the siren to indicate break was over sounded off.

“Chale! Time for action!” Ambradu said out loud as he closed his exercise book. Readying himself to get up, he then looked at the pen he had extorted from the younger boy. “These pens sef, them be good?”

“Hoh, massa, forget these pens,” Faisal scoffed. “Abi you get Bic? That be the correct pen, chale.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

With that, Ambradu tossed the pen onto the ground and stepped on it. He smirked at his little deed before walking off with his boys to the classroom block.


All books away!”

At the sound of that order, the students placed their books under their desks and readied themselves for the test ahead of them. The teacher then moved around the class, providing each student with a plain foolscap sheet and an overturned question paper. With about forty students in the class, that was not too tedious a task for her.

Once she was done, she came to stand before the class and checked her watch. It was 12:58 pm. Another two minutes, and the test would begin.

As the digits finally switched to 13:00 on her watch, she announced, “Start work!”

The students duly turned their question sheets over and began to read as they started.


Jake was pretty excited as he scanned the question paper. That last minute session with Ambradu and Faisal had been a lot more beneficial than he had anticipated. Virtually everything they had discussed at their base was what could be found on the paper.

Alaa, no be small firing I go fire this paper. Herrrrhh!! Ɛbɛyɛ dɛ kɛkɛ! he thought triumphantly as he took up his pen and steadied himself to begin work.

He looked briefly in Ambradu’s direction. His friend was staring hard at the question paper on his desk.

Eii, this boy. By now, he dey cook up some killer answers for ein head inside, he laughed inwardly as he turned back to his sheet. He began to write.

Two lines into his answer, however, he began to feel something in his belly.

A pain that seemed to gain strength with each passing second.

As it started up, Jake ignored it, hoping it would remain at a bearable stage. But it refused to remain at the mild stage.

Slowly it climbed. From mild… to moderate… to severe.

Soon, Jake’s head was on the table, wincing at the sharp pain rippling through him. The urge to visit the loo was slowly getting so intense, he could feel his attempts to hold it in get weaker.

Squirming in his seat, the attention of a few around him. And the teacher.

“Mr. Jake Yorke, is something wrong?” she asked. Quite typical of her to call students out by their full names.

Jake quickly raised his head from the table. “I need to go to the bathroom, please!” he blurted out, the discomfort all over his face.

Seeing how much anguish he was in, she nodded and gestured toward the door. Jake immediately rushed out, to the concern of many, and the amusement of some.

A few minutes later, Jake walked back in, looking a bit weaker. Ms. Kyei looked quite concerned. “Jake, can you continue with the paper?”

He nodded. “Yes, madam. I’m okay now.”

He returned to his seat and resumed writing. That had been some nasty bout of agony, but that rush to the bathroom was a reliever. Now he could get back to killing this paper.

Five minutes passed, and he was halfway through answering the first question. Feeling pleased with himself, he had a smirk on his face as he wrote…

… then suddenly the pain returned.

And this time, it jumped straight to severe. Severe to the extent that Jake practically shrieked in pain as he held his stomach.

Now the class, and the teacher, were worried. Those who found his first reaction funny weren’t laughing now; it was clear the boy was in serious pain.

Two of his mates and Ambradu rushed to his side as Ms. Kyei called out to them to take him out of the classroom ASAP.

“Boys, please, take him to the dispensary. Quickly!”


Whatever Jake was going through did not make Ambradu happy, but it was a bit of a welcome distraction for him. He had been hoping the little interruption would restore some sanity to his brain.

But as he sat before the paper, nothing had changed.

Absolutely nothing.

He sighed and gritted his teeth in anger.

How the f**k am I not able to remember a thing?

Since Ms. Kyei announced ‘Start Work!’, it’s as if something had snuck into his brain and placed a veil over everything he had studied. He had learned hard for this test, yet as he sat there, it was almost like he had not even bothered to crack a book open in months.

He looked at the questions. These were questions he could answer with no fuss. None at all. Yet it felt like the answers had been stuffed in some corner of his brain and locked up, with no key in sight.

His head leaning on his upright right arm, he seethed to himself.

“Come on, gademmit! I know this stuff. I know it! Come on!”

His brain still wouldn’t open up. Just hazy ideas upon hazy ideas. This was so infuriating.

“Come on, come on, come onnnnnnn!”

No recollection. No remembrance. The lights in his brain were like lightbulbs of homes powered by ECG or NEPA.

And until the moment he heard ‘Stop Work!’, nothing changed.

Whatever blocked the information from being used for the test held on till the bitter end, much to the frustration of Ambradu.


“Ah. But how?” Faisal wondered out loud, standing next to Ambradu as they watched their friend accompanied by two teachers, walk to the car park where his mother’s car was conveniently parked.

Jake had spent the rest of the afternoon in the school dispensary, unable to do anything but rush to the bathroom every time a stinging pain ripped through his belly. Eventually, his mother was called to come and pick him.

She had come just as school was over for the day, and Faisal, wondering what the commotion had been about, had stepped out of his class to see his fellow Slash King looking pretty weak and pale and leaning on one of the teachers.

Ambradu shook his head, at a total loss. “I no dey understand sef. Sudden diarrhea, but what he chop, we too we chop the same thing. Wey notin do we. Very strange.”

“Very. So he no write kraaa?”

Ambradu shook his head. “Small, but he no fit finish. The way things happen, them say them go give am special time make he write after recovery.”


As they watched the car drive out of the premises, Ambradu shook his head again. Of course, he was concerned about Jake’s well-being and hoped he’d recover speedily. But his mind was fixed on what happened to him in the classroom; he still couldn’t understand how his brain suddenly shut down and refused to function for the entirety of the test. He had huffed and puffed and huffed and puffed, but just like the brick house of the third pig, his efforts to break through that barrier failed.

Eventually, he had to resort to writing utter gibberish. Something he knew would get him in trouble with Ms. Kyei.

Sighing as he trudged back to the classroom to take his bag, he kept asking himself the same question over and over again…

“What the hell happened?”

Things have started happening! What else is in store for them? The next episode will have more information for us!

You're Gonna Regret This

You’re Gonna Regret This! Ep 2 – Good Deeds & Phobias

“Jake! Tamara! Salma! Kiki!”

A chorus of Yes Mas rang out in the Yorke house.

“It’s time for our regular devotion before you all leave for school.”

A cloudy Wednesday morning with no hint of rain in sight, it was a regular busy morning. Like many other households, the Yorkes were busy as the man of the house prepared for work and his wife went about her housewife duties, including preparing the four children for school.

Jake, the oldest of the four, appeared first in the living room, where Richard and Fanny Yorke were seated. A few minutes later, Tamara, his 13 year old sister, appeared. Salma and Kiki, the 10 and 8 year olds who were adopted children, eventually joined the rest of the family.

“Let’s hold hands as always,” Mr. Yorke ordered, to which the kids duly obeyed. He then raised a local worship song, which they all joined in. For two minutes, the living room was filled with six voices, young and old, all in tandem as they lifted early morning praises to their Creator and Father.

Once they were done, Mr. Richard Yorke began to raise prayer points, leading his wife and children in communion with God. As they fired off in tongues, the children prayed in a quieter tone.

Ten minutes of that, and the family then took their seats as Mr. Yorke took the big Bible placed in the middle of the living room table, ready to read the word of God to them for the day.

Morning devotion was not something the Yorkes took lightly in the slightest. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday without fail, the family would gather to sing a few songs to the Lord, pray, then hear the word and let Mr. Yorke know what they learned out of the scripture reading.

Today’s sermon was centered on the words of Jesus in John 13:34. As Mr. Yorke spoke to his family on the importance of showing love to others as believers, Jake sat there, with a face that would have anyone believe he was deeply imbibing all that his father was saying to him.

“So, starting from Jake, what is the main thing you’re taking from the word for today?” Mr. Yorke asked.

Hands on his laps, the most innocent of looks on his face, he calmly responded, “The main thing I’m taking from the word of God today is that we must love others. No matter what. Because Jesus loved us first, and the least we can do to honour Him is by showing that love to others in all ways.”

“Very good! Tamara?”

As Mr. Yorke continued with the other children, Jake was just itching for this devotion to end quickly. Being the only child in the house who attended GHI, which was about a fifteen-minute walk away from them, all he needed to do was grab his bag and bounce, unlike his siblings, whose school was much further away and required Mr. Yorke to drop them off there.

And boy, was he ready to bounce! He and Ambradu had targeted one twelve year old who they noted had been buying Alvaro Passion Fruit for a while now. It was time that boy did a little sharing.

“Everybody hold hands… Let us pray. Heavenly Father, we thank You for this time in your presence. Holy One of Israel, thank You for enlightenment, thank You for revelation, thank You for showing us the way to live. This day, we ask that Your Spirit will shed Your loved abroad in our hearts. Lead us on how to love others, just as You love us. And help each of us to carry out at least one deed of love this day. In Jesus’ name.”


“Okay, time for me to go now,” Jake announced.

“Alright, son. May the Lord go before you and order your footsteps, and teach you to show love to others. Amen!”



“Thanks. Now go!” Jake said smugly as he half-snatched the bottle of Alvaro from the boy.

True to form, the Slash Kings had descended upon the young lad earlier that morning and as they had predicted, the boy had that drink in his possession. Not only did they forcibly take it from him, but ordered him to buy an extra one during break.

As he begrudgingly heeded their demand, the boy walked away, thankful that at least, Faisal largely ignored him. He was busy jotting some stuff down as they sat on their special bench.

“Ei, today diɛɛ, you dey thank the boy? Wassup?” Ambradu asked in amusement. “Popee give you some sermon this morning anaa?”

“Oh, you know the drill dada. Morning devotion tins, wey the old man say make we all do one deed of love towards someone. So I do my good deed for the day. Or?”

“Oh yeah, that be all, chale. One good deed, then we move.”

“You guys say what?” Faisal asked, looking up from his folded exercise book.

“Oh, Operation One Day, One Good Deed. That be the task Mr. Yorke take give Jake for morning devotion today.”

Faisal shook his head as a big ‘mtchew’ escaped his lips. “Massa, you know sey them things, I no dey…”


The three of them turned to see who it was.

Stephanie, and a couple of her friends, with the former waving to them. They duly waved back, big smiles on their faces as she and her squad walked back to their classroom.

“Chale, but Ambradu, this your girlfriend be sexy oo!” Jake commented as the three of them observed Stephanie walking with her friends.

“Ibi serious, chale. See how in this yawa uniform sef, the body make sweet. I just dey imagine if she dey wear some tight, short dress. Dammit!” Ambradu responded, a smirk on his face.

“It’ll be serious, chale,” Faisal agreed, adjusting himself at his side of the bench. “But on the real, you for do then eat am soon ooo.”

“Oh, but you dey fear? Na how I go get this fresh p***y wey I no go spoil inside? Faisal paaa!”

Faisal laughed. “Adey beg, boss. I should never have doubted your abilities. I dey believe you.”

Thank you! By all means, this girl diɛɛ, I go pound am, no two ways about it . Right on her couch. I go give to am make she moan pass them porno actresses, walahi!”

“Alaa! The boy means business!” Faisal cheered, giving Ambradu a celebratory slap on the back as Jake raised his hands in jubilation as well.

“I swear down! Chale, destroy the flower make she see sey Slash Kings no dey f**k around!” Jake added. “Pummel the p***y ankasa!”

“I go destroy am. Walahi talahi!”

Faisal and Jake laughed and cheered.

As the two took swigs of their drinks and Faisal of his bottle of water, a butterfly flew in their direction.

Faisal visibly flinched at the sight of it before realizing what it was, then shook his head.

Ambradu noticed his reaction and laughed. “Ah, but you, butterfly wey you dey do that?”

Faisal shook his head again. “Nahh, na I figure sey ibi moth.”

“Ah, but hard guy like you, small moth wey you dey fear?” Jake teased.

“Chale, chale. Moths be some creepy insects give me ooo. My former school, some times of the year, the way them dey enter the classroom go dey the roof top pleeeeenty, na ibi some creepy ass s**t give me. Boy, I dey fit see them, then I won vomit mpo. Since then, moths dey creep me the f**k out.”

“Ahh well, that dey make sense, mohm. As you explain am like that, I dey understand you,” Jake responded.

“Yeah. E check like me then cockroaches,” Ambradu added. “Chale, cockroaches be some nasty little pieces of s**t. Ei, picture of cockroach sef dey trigger me.”

“Ei, then your own be serious ooo. Picture sef dey f**k you up?” Jake asked.

“Inobi joke I dey tell you. I really dey hate those things. Them dey mess me up pass. Filthy little vermin. Mtcheww.”

Faisal snickered a bit at that last reaction. “But you know something funny? Apparently, cockroaches dey fear we too. I see for some place sey if them touch you aaa, them dey rush go clean dema body, or something like that.”

“I see, interesting stuff.”

As they continued to talk, one boy passed by their bench in a hurry, making sure he could avoid them as best as he could. Ambradu looked at the boy’s back and squinted. “Ah, guys. Inobi that small boy we see for the Barnes Road side last time?”

“The one na he dey kick red bag?” Jake asked.

Ambradu nodded.

Jake looked at the boy, who was almost out of sight, then nodded. “Yeah, ibi am.”

“He sef, we no finish plus am last week, sakeof that idiot boy he come tell we s**t,” Faisal recalled.

“Yeah, yeah, true. That boy sef, ibi like he no be student for here,” Ambradu wondered.

“Nahhhh. Definitely no be GHI student,” Jake answered. “Like by all means, we go see am for the compound top at any point in time.”

“Well, wherever he dey, what dey matter be sey, next time, he go mind ein own business then watch ein mouth. Kwasia like that! Small boy, notin you know for this world inside, you dey come call we excuse for homo sapiens! Aboa ba!” Faisal spat, still a little miffed by the memory of it all.

“Oh, by all means. He be very stupid boy to talk to us like that. But by now, he learn sense. That be all e dey hia,” Ambradu agreed.

The siren for break over sounded off.

“Chale, make we move.”


In a corner of the path to the incomplete stored on Barnes Road, his eyes were fixed on the seniors’ classroom block of Gear House Institute. Break time was over, and the students were returning to their classes.

His eyes spotted the three of them, leisurely walking and chatting with each other.

A mirthless smile spread across his lips.

“They don’t know what’s coming.”

He shook his head, and walked away.

I think this is where things will start to get interesting for this trio. Time to find out exactly what is coming their way…

You're Gonna Regret This

You’re Gonna Regret This! Ep 1 – The Slash Kings

The story fully begins now…

“Herh, you make serious?”

“Hwɛ! Ambradu, ibi serious things I dey tell you ooo. Na ibi the daughter naaa she dey steal the money. Wey she dey lie make them beat beat the househelp until them record am sey she dey tell ein boyfriend how she dey steal am. Almost 7K wey she bost oo.”

“Chale! Herh, information dey this world inside ooo.”

“I swear, my guy…”

It was 7:10, and at the Manic Bus Stop, where trotros stopped for alighting and boarding passengers, stood two students of Gear House Institute, well dressed in their checkered purple and white shirts and purple shorts, busily chatting as they waited for their friend to join them.

Ambradu Gyekye and Jake Yorke.

Ambradu was the leader of the little clique. A fine, good-looking boy over 5 feet 7, he was the kind of lad who everyone would love to be around. The son of an owner of one of the biggest mining companies in the country, he was no stranger to the high life. Money, power, comfort… he had it all.

And he loved it all. Especially the power.

With a fit physique and a rich dad, he got so used to having some form of power that he began to wield it in his school. In a rather cruel way.

To him, power was for ensuring that those below him knew he was the boss, and they could not match up to him in any way. And that if he chose to show them the opposite of kindness, they ought to accept it in good faith.

Obviously, because of this, he had very few friends in school; he was considered one of the most cruel human beings on campus, and students avoided him like a plague as often as possible. But one stuck by for many years, and that was Jake.

Many would say that if Ambradu was Jafar, Jake was Iago. Slightly shorter and a little heavier than his best friend, he was probably one of the very few people on planet Earth that thought very highly of Ambradu and could always be found by his side.

Somehow, he just found his best friend’s cruel displays of power to be absolutely hilarious. And he always made sure the victims in question know how much he reveled in their misery.

“Anyways, chale, if we go school, I dey beg, make we search out that f**king Daniel boy then ein paddies. I hear sey na them dey talk s**t about me like two days ago or so,” Ambradu announced.

“Ah, seriously? Those boys eh… we for get some time show them levels. Like how we take show those jon Good Guys. See some gyimi-gyimi name sef.”

“I dey shock sef. Kwasiafuo. Abi now them make lemm. Jons. Them figure sey them go fit we…”

A red trotro stopped in front of them, and as the mate opened the door and stepped out, a student in the same attire as Ambradu and Jake followed him out.

A lean-looking young man with a cold expression chiseled on his face.

“Alaa, the one and only Faisal Kadiri. Chale, wassup?”

The two greeted him as he gave them fist bumps and gave them a polythene bag with drinks in it.”

“I dey oo, I dey. I manage buy your La Casera for the road top.”

“Fantastic,” Ambradu beamed as he took out his own, handing the other bottle to Jake. “You no buy some give your body?”

Faisal shook his head. “Abi I tell you guys. No sweet stuff for the next 30 days. I make serious.”

Jake eyed him and snickered. “Ayoo, we hear you. Anyways, make we go. Ambradu say we get some unfinished business plus Daniel ein squad…”


“Those boys are terrible,” one student sighed, shaking his head as he watched Ambradu, Jake and surround a few boys at a bench near the football pitch on the school compound. The three were clearly on the prowl, as was often the case during break time when they weren’t seated at their usual bench under the palm trees near the entrance to the school.

Nobody enjoyed seeing them walk in their direction. With a look that conveyed how much he relished being evil to others on the face of Ambradu, a goofy but mean grin on Jake’s, and an all-out fierce glare from Faisal, the sight of those three was never a sight to behold. Students always scattered whenever they came their way. Whether it was almost time for assembly, break time or closing time, those boys, the self-proclaimed Slash Kings, were looking for someone to assert their cruel powers over.

“Horrible pieces of s**t, chale,” his friend agreed, looking at them with disgust. “It’s honestly disgusting how they’re given free reign here. They torment everyone and nothing is done about it.”

“Hmmm. There’s a reason why ooo. Abi you’ve not been here very long. You see Ambradu and Jake come from affluent families?”


“Well, the truth is, when they first started misbehaving somewhere like two years ago, some students went and reported them to the authorities, sharp, and Mr. Agyare himself – a whole headmaster – disciplined them well well at one assembly and said that’s what will happen if bullying ever becomes a thing. Na the two of them were so angry and embarrassed about being disciplined like that in front of the whole school, they went and told their fathers about it.

“Apparently, their fathers have been helping with funding the school’s infrastructure. The IT Lab and the football field nyinaa, they were the ones who helped the school to build them. Iheard they’re financing the new classroom block too. So the next day, Mr. Gyekye and Mr. Yorke themselves came to the school. I hear it wasn’t easy in the headmaster’s office. Ambradu’s father was like, how dare he embarrass his son like that, bla bla bla. As for Mr. Yorke, he said issa lie, na the way he’s brought up his children in the fear of the Lord, there’s no way Jake will bully anyone. They came and warned the man gidigidi that if he touches them again, they’ll stop funding all the projects here. And since then, Mr. Agyare told all the teachers to jie their eye. That’s why they have carte blanche like that ooo. It’s sad.”

“Ah! So because of money and projects, your students should suffer? Mtcheww! So they don’t see what happens on campus? The fact that a number of parents have grown frustrated and withdrawn their wards from school doesn’t mean anything to them?”

“Hmm, chale. Them no dey see all that ooo. As long as they have some millionaires giving them money, everything else can go to hell.”

“This is sad. Really sad. And that clique too, the Good Guys, they did virtually nothing. Those guys easily beat them down. That Faisal guy alone could handle them, chale. I dunno, among the three of them, he’s the one I don’t like at all. I think he’s the worst human being on the planet.”

“Are you sure? It’s the leader who is the worst ooo. Ambradu Gyekye. He’s the most horrible among the three. Don’t look at just the aggression ooo. Look at their overall attitude. Ambradu is just some depraved boy. He diɛɛ, when he’s bullying people, you can just see it in his eyes that he derives joy from being mean. It’s so obvious.”

“Hmmm. For me, it’s Faisal that I really dislike. It’s like he just enjoys fighting for the sake of it. Ah, can’t you live in peace with others? What aaaa is wrong with your life that you want everyone to be afraid of you?”

“I’m sure he just has some self-esteem issues, and this is the best way he knows how to deal with it. But chale, he’s a coward. A pathetic little coward.”

“And as for that Jake boy eh, another major buffoon. As for him, he just follows them like some toy bi. Laughing and adding to the cruelty his friends are inflicting on others.”

“Oh, him eh… see, Seba, one day one day, them go see. For like two years now, they’ve been using their position and physique and tins to torment people. One day, they’ll regret it.”

“Oh, definitely. They will… chale, chale, they’ve finished worrying those guys. Make we lef here before them go come disturb us…”


“Feel good?”

“Mmmm… yess… ow, God, yes! Mmm… oh, don’t stop!”

It was 5:30 pm. Usually, by this time, virtually every student of Gear House Institute had left for home.

Except for Ambradu. And a certain girl in his class, called Stephanie.

Gear House Institute had quite a number of pretty young girls, but Miss Stephanie Owusu was considered to be one of the prettiest. A petite melanin girl, it was no secret that half of the boys in the school had varying degrees of crushes on her.

And of course, one of them was Ambradu. Taking due advantage of the powerful position he had, where very few people would want to get in his way, he bulldozed his way into the front of the line for her heart. Captivated by his charming words and the ‘bad boy vibes’, she had only one answer for him when he proposed to her, and it wasn’t negative.

Since then, they had been picking certain days to stay over and have a little fun after school hours. In the third stall of the girls’ bathroom, they would meet and get exceptionally intimate with each other. And that day was no different.

Anyone who would have walked into the girls’ bathroom at that time would have been flushed with embarrassment upon hearing Stephanie moan and gasp as Ambradu excitedly put his hands to work down her skirt.

A few more minutes of squeals and pleas for more went on before the two considered it a day for their illicit activities.

As they stepped out of the washroom, Ambradu naughtily spanked Stephanie on the butt. “Getting sweeter and sweeter by the day, you know.”

Stephanie giggled as she turned to face him.

“Babe, you know we eventually gotta step this up. It’s been two months already. I really wanna have you proper proper,” he continued, looking into her eyes.

She nodded. “We will, booboo. We will. Just lemme find out the right time my dad will be out of the house, and I’ll let you know.”

A grin appeared on his face as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “You know we gotta do it on the couch, though, right?”

She giggled again and shook her head. “Ambradu, you know that’ll be risky.”

“But babe, the riskier, the sweeter. Isn’t this thing we’re doing risky? Yet I bet my fingers are sweeter than they’d ever be without the risk.”

She laughed yet again. “Wellllll… I guess… I guess we can take the risk. As long as we get to have fun, that’s all that matters.”

“Exactly. And trust me, I know for a fact that sex on the couch will be the greatest ever.”

Yet more laughter from the young girl. “Oh, Ambradu, you’re such a funny guy.”

“That’s me, baby. That’s me in all my prestige and glory. So… time to head home now. Hope you had a sweet time.”

Stephanie giggled and nodded. “Too sweet.”

He leaned down and whispered into her ear, “Have I told you lately that you are so damn sexy?”

She giggled yet again, then shook her head as she gave him a seductive look. “Tell me.”

“Well, you, my dear Stephanie Owusu,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her waist, “are so damn sexy, it almost hurts.”

More giggles from the girl was silenced as he pressed his lips against hers in an intense kiss that lasted for about a minute. Once they separated, they were both panting, high on testosterone and oestrogen.

“I’m gonna get us a date as soon as possible,” she murmured.


“Can’t wait.”

“Me too. I’m gonna give you one hell of a night, I swear.”

Stephanie giggled once again. Those bad boy vibes. Always had her excited. “Okay, baby, it’s time for us to go now. Can you walk me to the bus stop?”

“Sure, babe. Anything for you.”

Well, that’s the introduction we’ve had to these boys. Let’s see what happens as the story goes on…

You're Gonna Regret This

You’re Gonna Regret This! Prologue – They Surely Will

Welcome, guys! Here’s a brand new story on your beloved State!

This is a pretty crazy story, to be honest. But I think we all know crazy is a solid part of this side of the internet. So, brace yourselves for this journey!

“Herh! Herh!”

I was not far off when I heard them call out to that boy. Alvin, if I’m correct.

I saw the look of terror in his eyes as he stopped, unsure if it was him or not. He looked around to see if anyone else was around the path leading to the school. He realized he was the only one.

Yeah, hanging around that side of Barnes Road is a bad idea, especially around the hours of 4:30 to 5 pm. For some reason, there are few people around, and you’re at the mercy of a lot of terrible people.

Like them.

He tried to focus on his path. You know, pretend as if he wasn’t the one that was called. Act as if he didn’t hear anything. So he kept moving. Hoping that by some magic stroke, they’d ignore him or something like that.

Nope, it didn’t work.

“Herh! Where are you going? Hey! You with the red bag, I dey talk to you. Stop!”

Once they pointed out his bag colour, the jig was up for him.

I could see the look in his eyes. Tears ready to pour forth upon realizing he was trapped. I saw as he mouthed to himself, “Why did I decide to pass here at this time? Ah, ah, ah!”

Yeah, he probably should have found another path to pass or something. But considering the Blue Skies drink he was holding, I guess he had been targeting to get something from the shop that’s a few metres ahead of the path. Can’t blame him; I love Blue Skies too. Best juice in the world.

But that’s another matter.

He was frozen in his spot. Clearly torn between running away and just waiting for the eventual. The former would’ve been the better option, but… that would worsen his predicament. And I don’t think that 10 year old would successfully outrun them.

So he chose the latter, woefully accepting his upcoming fate.

I could sense the terror and trepidation building up in his chest as they caught up to him with each passing footstep. The fright at knowing he was about to have an experience that would be an unpleasant part of his childhood.

He shut his eyes and cursed his stars…

… and two seconds later, they were in front of him.

Three sixteen year olds.

The one in the middle, a tall lean boy with a muscular build and eyes that glinted with evil. One look into that boy’s eyes, and you can just tell how much he revels in being cruel to young ones.

The one on the left, the shortest among the three, with a slightly heavy build. He had this goofy smile, the kind that lets you know he thinks this nonsense of hurting others and being all-out nasty to those lower than you is fun.

The one on the right, a foot or two shorter than the one in the middle, with a lean look and this cold expression etched on his face. It’s quite clear that this boy has no idea what the words compassion, love or kindness mean. Wickedness in human flesh.

These boys were obviously bigger than Alvin. And the looks on their faces made it pretty clear that a friendly chat was not on the agenda.

“So as we dey call you, you no dey hear?” the boy in the middle sneered. “Why, you be deaf and dumb or what?”

Alvin shook his head carefully, too petrified to even move a finger. Unpredictability hangs in the air like a bad stench at the public toilets with these guys around. You have no idea what they’re gonna do to you, but you know it won’t be nice.

The boy on the right, without warning, suddenly slapped the back of his head. “Open your mouth and talk! Sia like that!”

Bowed over in pain from the sudden impact, Alvin whimpered.

Like I said, unpredictability. Any of them could strike you at any time.

“Disrespectful idiot! Don’t you know you must open your mouth when we’re talking to you? Nonsense!”

“Chale, you better raise your head and look at us when we’re talking to you ooo.”

The voice of the third boy, less aggressive but still a carrier of unpleasant tidings, rang above his lowered head.

You have no idea how disgust rose to the top of my throat like an erupting volcano.

Bullies. They make me sick.

At this point, I knew what was going to happen. I was going to confront them.

Sure, I might be Alvin’s age, but who else was gonna stand up for the poor boy? Apparently, they have some unfettered freedom in school to do all this foolishness, so almost nobody stops them. But I wasn’t gonna take it. The boy is going home. He’s done nothing to you. Why harass him unprovoked?

So I approached from the bench I was sitting on beside the uncompleted store.

They were just being the despicable human beings everybody knew them to be. Mr. Goofy Smile had Alvin’s small hands locked under his armpit as he slapped him, the one on the right – the bastard who slapped Alvin’s head – was knocking him, and the one in the middle was simply watching him with this very cruel smile on his face.

Abusing the boy for no reason at all. Just because it gives them shots of power.

Foolishness! Absolute foolishness!

“Hey! Leave him alone!”

The three of them froze for a moment, then turned in my direction.

I gave them the most evil of glares as I folded my arms, making my disdain at their actions very clear. “He’s done nothing to you! Let him be, for God’s sake!” I added.

The three of them gave a collective ‘Mtcheww’ as they saw who it was giving them orders.

“Massa, comot for there!” the middle boy, who at this point seemed to be the leader of the bullies, snapped. “Is it your matter? Mind your f**king business.”

“Yeah, mind your own damn business!” the smiling bully added. “And leave here before we decide to descend on you.”

With that, Alvin’s brief moment of peace was cut short, as they returned to slapping him in the face.

“Kwasia boy! Does he know who we are, and he’s coming to order us about?” the aggressive one scoffed as he pulled Alvin’s ear and twisted it.

“Are you minding him? He should continue standing there and see if we won’t take it out on him,” the leader said.

I was really outraged, and the next words that burst out of me were vicious.

“”You know what you guys are? Horrible human beings. Absolute pieces of trash. You think there’s fun in being nasty to people just for the fun of it, but you don’t know you’re honestly just pathetic excuses for homo sapiens!”

They stopped.

Yeah, letting that out felt good. Like an anvil off my chest. I hate bullies with a passion, and it felt cathartic to let these scum beings know how I felt about them.

Only one problem, though.

Their attention switched to me.

And the look on their faces… hmmmm… rage is too little a word.

They were absolutely fuming.

“Herh! Come here! Stupid boy!”

Alvin was shoved aside as they charged after me.

At that moment, I had a perfect idea of what it felt like to be a gazelle or a zebra being chased by a pride of wild lionesses. Now the terror that gripped Alvin a couple of moments ago took hold of me.

I tried to run as fast as I could. But who was I kidding? I’m not fast at all, and these boys probably had adrenalin fuelling their sprints as they rushed towards me. In a matter of seconds, the leader had me by the scruff of my neck.

As they dragged me to the uncompleted store, raining insults upon me, I knew I was finished.

They threw me on the floor.

Began to kick and stomp on me with all the strength within them.

It was horrible.

Blinding pain ripping through my nerve endings as they dug their shoes into my stomach, my back, my thighs… worse than walking on scalding hot coals.

It felt like an eternity as they kicked at me, pummeled me and used every single insult that popped into their head upon me. Absolute hell.

As one of them kicked me in the back of my head twice, in my dazed state, I still heard one of them say, “”Next time you see us, you’ll respect yourself and pass by quietly! Nonsense! Coming to call us pathetic. Gyimi!”

The voice of the ‘leader’.

“Chale, make I kick ein face make ein teeth, comot!” I heard Mr. Aggressive hiss passionately. “Kwasia toke! Who be piece of trash? Your family tree all be piece of trash. Aboa!”

“Nah, chale, it’s okay. We’ve shown him where power lies. Let’s go.”

“Chale, should we go back to the other one?” Mr. Evil Smile asked.

“Chale, make we forget am,” the leader suggested. “I’m tired. Let’s get some Beta Malt, na I’ve lost some strength. Dealing with pieces of s**t no be small task.”

“I tell you,” Mr. Aggressive agreed. “Alright, chale. If you say so. Make we move.”

No morsel of strength within my body; those sick boys totally wasted me. Pain still had total control over me. To even blink an eye would send nerve signals of crippling agony right down to the soles of my feet.

Nonetheless, I let out a cough. And with the little might I had, I called out weakly to them.

“You… you’re-you’re… you’re gonna regret this.”

“You go regret wo maame t**! Aboa!”

Mr. Evil Smile and the leader laughed at Mr. Aggressive’s quick retort as they stepped out of the uncompleted store.

Consciousness was fast slipping away. Everything was turning black slowly. Darkness overtaking my sight.

I didn’t know what was next as I passed out, but I know one thing is for sure.

They’re gonna regret this… they surely will.

Well, that was a pretty cruel start to the story. Bullies, eh. They can be terrible people. What awaits us as we begin? We’ll see in due time…