Categories
Stalling For A Fool

Stalling For A Fool #3

Maverick came out and although I was dreading what was to come, I was grateful that he was fully dressed.

Winnie’s face went from smiley to completely blank. The dead silence of the room was deafening and I was ready for the earth to swallow me. Maverick stood in front of the bathroom for a full minute, then went back inside.

Winnie looked at me, then looked at the shower, then looked at me again, saying absolutely nothing in the process. The look on her face wasn’t one of pure anger; it was more like a mix of disbelief, irritation and confusion. I hoped that she’d remember that I’d told her that I was not in when he left and she would declare me innocent in her mind.

I opened my mouth to speak when Maverick opened the shower door again and came out, this time standing at the side of the door while Maame came out and marched straight for the main door. Winnie now looked shocked. The confusion had left her face and in its place was anger. Even worse, Maverick followed Maame like a happy hound after its master, and they both left without a word. The paranoia came back with full force.

Oh Dear God, now I have to deal with the blowback! Please don’t let me die today from all the punching, I thought to myself.

A very angry Winnie looked me in the face. “Carl, did you know all along that he was in there?” The question came at me hard and I was sure that I could still be absolved of any possible crimes.

No, I did not.

“Carl, did you know all along that he was in there?”

“No, I really didn’t. Since Bill told me he’d left, I assumed he really had left.”

“When is Bill coming back?”

I shrugged.

For the next five minutes, I watched the most polite, most courteous woman Maverick had ever brought into this room cuss him out as if she was quoting lines from a Samuel Jackson character. I’d never heard that many expletives used by anyone like her in the same context or even at the same moment. From all the cussing, I learned that somewhere in her, she was glad she didn’t let him touch her but she was mad about the fact that she’d felt bad about that and considered bending just for him. She was also mad because she came so they could talk things out. Their relationship had gone sour from the lack of intimate contact and she was going to let him have her today. She’d had a whole evening planned and it was going to end in my suffering to sleep.

At that moment, I was glad that this happened. Maame and Maverick had made my nights very unpleasant with their shaking of the bed and if Winnie had let him have her, his bed would no doubt have been broken and the supports along with it, and that would have given us all a date with the ER doctors.

She had barely calmed down when he returned. At that moment, I gave her a hug and told her to calm down. The return hug came with a message that suggested that I had better hoped that my room was intact by the time she left. I left and hurriedly went to see my friend across campus. I had no interest in staying to watch the drama that ensued.

I heaved a huge sigh of relief when I came back the next morning and found the room intact and Maverick’s bones still in place. I almost punched him when he attempted to accuse me of sabotage but I made him realize his folly.

He later told me that he and Winnie broke up that night and Maame slept over and they “celebrated.” I pitied the poor girl but I knew she would learn her lesson the hard way if she hadn’t learned anything from last night. I was glad to be in my bed again.

I closed my eyes, this time knowing that no creaking sounds would wake me up, and drifted off into the arms of the beautiful damsel whose face I never saw.

THE END

Well, the title never lied. Maverick certainly is one heck of a fool. Winnie should consider it a bullet dodged. Or what do you think?

Thank you for visiting this little side of the State, and all gratitude to Makafui for yet another riveting story!!

Categories
Stalling For A Fool

Stalling For A Fool #2

My stalling and diversion was the major reason why the two had never met. So this day, when no part of me wanted to talk to anyone, was arguably the worst possible day karma could pick to visit Maverick.

“Carl, did you hear me?”

I turned and realized that somewhere between the times I opened the door and composed myself, Winnie had made her way to Maverick’s bed. “What did you say, sweetie?” I asked.

“I forgot to bring my pen drive. Can you give me your laptop so I could copy the movies at my hostel?”

“Yeah. I’d have to charge you; my services aren’t free.”

“Yeah, right! Carl, are you alright?”

I realized that she probably noticed how nervous I was. As much as I hated Maverick and his little game, I wasn’t about to witness a showdown that could leave one person with a broken wrist, another in an ER and the third possibly in a morgue. I had to get her to leave as quickly as possible.

“Your boyfriend isn’t here.”

“Really? I told him I was going to come here today.”

“Well, he left about thirty minutes ago with OB and said he’d be back in about 2 hours.”

I had hoped that that would be reason enough, but this was one determined girl. “There’s no one in my room right now and I’d rather just sit here and wait. Plus, I really want a reason to be fussy today,” she said.

I walked casually and stood in front of the bathroom wall and made sure to scream “Winnie! You can’t be that mean!” just so the idiots in the bathroom would know that we had company. Thankfully, she had yet to figure out what was happening, so she just said, “I can and I am going to be.”

Realizing that they still weren’t making any sounds that suggested that they were going to come out, I screamed again, “Winnie, that’s just mean. I know he’s a royal ass and all but come on, just be nice. Do it for me.”

Still no responses.

“Carl, really? You want me to come after you if he acts like an ass when he gets back?” At this point, I decided that acting normal was probably a better idea. I got her some iced water and chatted with her for the next thirty minutes. These rabbits were still in there and any ear could hear them. I wasn’t sure whether Winnie was simply ignoring the obnoxious noises from the shower or she was simply deaf. In her defense, the water was running and so the noises were dampened; my paranoia just amplified them.

 It had been two hours, my last two boxes of grape juice, and some really delicious banana cake from an otherwise very crappy café which made pastries, and still no sign of them making plans to come out. Winnie was enjoying my company but she had no intention of staying for more than two hours.

“Carl, I thought you said he’d be back in two hours.”

“That’s what he said.”

“So where is he, then?”

“Call him or text him or something, he’s your boyfriend.”

“Jealous? Sure you don’t want it to be you instead?” That last sentence was made up in my head but I half-expected her to say something like that in the cockiest of manners.

She texted him but he didn’t reply and then she turned to me with an all too familiar look. Maverick never knew this, but she had this look whenever she thought or felt that something was off and like a bloodhound, she would search and pry until she found blood.

“What exactly did he say?” I wanted to defend Maverick but I was not going to be his fall guy.

“I’m not entirely sure but Bill relayed the message to me.”

“So you have no idea if he’s really not here?”

I almost panicked because that question was laced with an unholy cocktail of emotions, and I knew that lying to her could be fatal. “No, I don’t but I haven’t seen him since I got back.” She looked back at her phone, a cue for me to feel relieved.

I tried to suggest the option of leaving to her but she brushed it aside again. Being a good staller involved having a sensible person to stall for and this guy was proving to be extremely good at being a fool. Why would he forget his appointment times? How the hell could he be so damn deaf? I had to continue to stall but I knew Winnie and I didn’t really have much left to discuss; the girl was already impatient.

As a last-ditch attempt to keep her from snooping around, I stared her right in the eyes. She arched her eyebrows. “What are you doing?”

I said nothing and continued to stare.

“What’s going on? What are you doing?” Her discomfort started to show. She frowned.“What on earth is going on with you?”

Finally, I said, “Will you…”

“Will I what?”

“Will you…”

“Oh no, please don’t do this. Don’t finish the sentence…Wait, what?” Her last reaction was because while she was begging me not to say what she thought I was going to say, I asked if she would sing me a song.

The push she gave me sent me onto the ground. I feigned injury while she laughed and acted as though she were sorry. I asked for her help to pull me up but she just sat there and made faces at me.

I got up and pretended to be mad just so I could get her to sing and it would have worked if we didn’t hear the creaking sound of the shower door.

Ei, so Maverick is about to expose himself? Oh well, let’s see how this ends…

Categories
Stalling For A Fool

Stalling For A Fool #1

Soooooo, Makafui is back with another brief series! This is a 3-part one, so.. enjoy the first episode!

It’s Friday evening in Legon, the school where sleeping on Friday night means you’re either single or you have a morning exam on Saturday. (As uncommon as the latter sounds, it’s true.) If you live in any of the three blocks at Pentagon Hostels and you still manage to sleep in your own bed on Friday nights, either your level of shyness is really severe or your girlfriend is mad at you over something petty enough to make her not want to see you. Being mad at you for something legitimate will warrant an explanation activity, usually dinner, and that would require their laying eyes on you in the flesh.

And though not every Friday night home body was extremely shy, or gifted with an irked significant other, or had a Saturday morning Academic writing exam, it seemed to be the predominant assumption throughout the building block I lived in. (No, I won’t tell you which one it is. What kind of mental konkonsa is that!)

I’m lying down, staring at the ceiling, and wondering whether the rabbits in the shower will ever come out so I can go in and hide, at least until they decide where to hang out for the night and leave. They’ve been in there for over five hours now, my need to get out of this awkwardness is getting even more desperate and the squeaky noises coming out of the shower aren’t exactly helping matters.

Ordinarily, I would be far away from them and this hostel, but man is a special kind of broke. I can’t even go from my room to Okponglo, which is literally a walking distance! I also just woke up, and walking anywhere isn’t on my list of things to do, especially when walking would cause hunger and tell my stomach the truth I’ve been trying so hard to keep from it.

I’m trying my hardest not to get down from my bed when someone decides that the best time to knock on my door would be now. My prayer while I drag myself down the ladder of my bunk bed is simple: “Dear God, please let it be Bill. He said he’d be back in an hour and that was seven hours ago!” With the last bit of hope left in me, I open the door and the high-pitched but normally soothing alto voice that greets me immediately makes me anxious.

Winnie, Maverick’s girlfriend, is here while Maame, Maverick’s other girlfriend, is in the shower with him.

Maverick’s case was a rather complex one. He came to Legon off the reputation of his secondary school and the fact that his major was a fairly easy one to qualify for. He was not exactly the brightest person but was observant enough to get into a girl’s good graces. His fashion sense was high, his ability to hold conversations was adequate and he possessed almost all the qualities of a playboy except he was short, had an almost frog-like look (minus the warts and the springing hind legs, of course), was extremely dark and had really huge eyes which stood out.

Everyone’s best guess as to how he was able to date the pretty ones was that his dress sense was very good but, in truth, it was because Maverick knew how to make a girl feel wanted. Even if she knew of his reputation as a playboy, she somehow felt like she could make him stay.

His taste in women was exquisite and his range was pretty wide, usually preferring women who were anywhere between slim and “thick”, not “fat”. When I asked him what the difference was, he said that a thick woman wasn’t fat or even in between but she had enough “to play with” whereas a fat woman couldn’t see south of her own tummy. Make of that what you will, I guess.

Maverick had one major flaw: he had no idea what to do when a woman was being difficult and he was especially clueless as to how to get a woman to open up to him about her personal life. None of our other three room mates were even remotely concerned that his friends tended to swarm the room most of the time, or that he was very inconsistent with his girlfriends. They did get mad at his apparent disrespect for the value of women but they blamed it on his youth, claiming that he would outgrow it.

Maverick happened to be fresh out of a relationship with the girl he’d been dating since the latter years of secondary school when he met Winnie in his psychology class. He happened to be sitting in between a mutual friend and her, so he got the mutual friend to introduce them and he worked his magic from there.

His advantage was that she had no idea who he was; she was a clean slate. Her advantage was that she was the type who liked to commit, so she made the chase seem easy although it was hella hard, which made it easier to sift the chaff out of the pool of men who wanted her.

When my man asked her out on a date after talking with her for 2 weeks, she immediately said yes… and then she stood him up date after date for half a semester.

She was a girl with morals and a strong devotion to her religion, a fact which always frustrated him because he had to work extremely hard to get her to cuddle with him, yet she never let him fondle her; the most he got was a brief kiss. She kept him on a tight leash and he was determined to break her because it made leaving her for the next one even sweeter.

It so happened that he went to a party and met Maame, who was nowhere near as pretty as Winnie, yet somehow caught his attention. Wooing her was a breeze; he made her laugh and just like that, she let him in. He eventually went all the way with her in his friend’s room just a few days after they met.

I ended up having to entertain Winnie more times than I wanted to while he was with Maame, a fact that really irked me. My roommates were no help either. Manfred was too macho to talk to her, Joe was almost never in the room and Bill was a busy man. I entertained her mainly because I liked the fact that Maverick could not get this girl to open up in half a semester while I did it in a week. The more we talked, the more trusting she became of me.

We would talk for hours about a million things while Maverick was out and when he came, they would talk for minutes and then go somewhere else. I was indifferent towards Maame because Maverick didn’t give her credit for anything except the fact that she allowed him to have his way with her while Winnie was a tough cookie.

Plus, she ended up being a very unwanted fifth roommate for the rest of the school year.