Stalling For A Fool

Stalling For A Fool #1

Soooooo, Makafui is back with another brief series! This is a 3-part one, so.. enjoy the first episode!

It’s Friday evening in Legon, the school where sleeping on Friday night means you’re either single or you have a morning exam on Saturday. (As uncommon as the latter sounds, it’s true.) If you live in any of the three blocks at Pentagon Hostels and you still manage to sleep in your own bed on Friday nights, either your level of shyness is really severe or your girlfriend is mad at you over something petty enough to make her not want to see you. Being mad at you for something legitimate will warrant an explanation activity, usually dinner, and that would require their laying eyes on you in the flesh.

And though not every Friday night home body was extremely shy, or gifted with an irked significant other, or had a Saturday morning Academic writing exam, it seemed to be the predominant assumption throughout the building block I lived in. (No, I won’t tell you which one it is. What kind of mental konkonsa is that!)

I’m lying down, staring at the ceiling, and wondering whether the rabbits in the shower will ever come out so I can go in and hide, at least until they decide where to hang out for the night and leave. They’ve been in there for over five hours now, my need to get out of this awkwardness is getting even more desperate and the squeaky noises coming out of the shower aren’t exactly helping matters.

Ordinarily, I would be far away from them and this hostel, but man is a special kind of broke. I can’t even go from my room to Okponglo, which is literally a walking distance! I also just woke up, and walking anywhere isn’t on my list of things to do, especially when walking would cause hunger and tell my stomach the truth I’ve been trying so hard to keep from it.

I’m trying my hardest not to get down from my bed when someone decides that the best time to knock on my door would be now. My prayer while I drag myself down the ladder of my bunk bed is simple: “Dear God, please let it be Bill. He said he’d be back in an hour and that was seven hours ago!” With the last bit of hope left in me, I open the door and the high-pitched but normally soothing alto voice that greets me immediately makes me anxious.

Winnie, Maverick’s girlfriend, is here while Maame, Maverick’s other girlfriend, is in the shower with him.

Maverick’s case was a rather complex one. He came to Legon off the reputation of his secondary school and the fact that his major was a fairly easy one to qualify for. He was not exactly the brightest person but was observant enough to get into a girl’s good graces. His fashion sense was high, his ability to hold conversations was adequate and he possessed almost all the qualities of a playboy except he was short, had an almost frog-like look (minus the warts and the springing hind legs, of course), was extremely dark and had really huge eyes which stood out.

Everyone’s best guess as to how he was able to date the pretty ones was that his dress sense was very good but, in truth, it was because Maverick knew how to make a girl feel wanted. Even if she knew of his reputation as a playboy, she somehow felt like she could make him stay.

His taste in women was exquisite and his range was pretty wide, usually preferring women who were anywhere between slim and “thick”, not “fat”. When I asked him what the difference was, he said that a thick woman wasn’t fat or even in between but she had enough “to play with” whereas a fat woman couldn’t see south of her own tummy. Make of that what you will, I guess.

Maverick had one major flaw: he had no idea what to do when a woman was being difficult and he was especially clueless as to how to get a woman to open up to him about her personal life. None of our other three room mates were even remotely concerned that his friends tended to swarm the room most of the time, or that he was very inconsistent with his girlfriends. They did get mad at his apparent disrespect for the value of women but they blamed it on his youth, claiming that he would outgrow it.

Maverick happened to be fresh out of a relationship with the girl he’d been dating since the latter years of secondary school when he met Winnie in his psychology class. He happened to be sitting in between a mutual friend and her, so he got the mutual friend to introduce them and he worked his magic from there.

His advantage was that she had no idea who he was; she was a clean slate. Her advantage was that she was the type who liked to commit, so she made the chase seem easy although it was hella hard, which made it easier to sift the chaff out of the pool of men who wanted her.

When my man asked her out on a date after talking with her for 2 weeks, she immediately said yes… and then she stood him up date after date for half a semester.

She was a girl with morals and a strong devotion to her religion, a fact which always frustrated him because he had to work extremely hard to get her to cuddle with him, yet she never let him fondle her; the most he got was a brief kiss. She kept him on a tight leash and he was determined to break her because it made leaving her for the next one even sweeter.

It so happened that he went to a party and met Maame, who was nowhere near as pretty as Winnie, yet somehow caught his attention. Wooing her was a breeze; he made her laugh and just like that, she let him in. He eventually went all the way with her in his friend’s room just a few days after they met.

I ended up having to entertain Winnie more times than I wanted to while he was with Maame, a fact that really irked me. My roommates were no help either. Manfred was too macho to talk to her, Joe was almost never in the room and Bill was a busy man. I entertained her mainly because I liked the fact that Maverick could not get this girl to open up in half a semester while I did it in a week. The more we talked, the more trusting she became of me.

We would talk for hours about a million things while Maverick was out and when he came, they would talk for minutes and then go somewhere else. I was indifferent towards Maame because Maverick didn’t give her credit for anything except the fact that she allowed him to have his way with her while Winnie was a tough cookie.

Plus, she ended up being a very unwanted fifth roommate for the rest of the school year.

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