Well, I don’t think it’s a secret that Bailey has a serious issue. I wonder what’s going to happen with him in the coming days…
“Bailey, why do your sheets smell weird?”
Oh God, my mum would not hesitate to embarrass me in front of guests, hers or mine. “Mum, why are you doing my laundry?” I called out from my room in response.
“I wasn’t; your step-brother was.”
Oh yeah, because Chris was the most responsible person in the world! When mum remarried a few years after I kicked my father out, I was happy for her. I did not realize that her new marriage came with a brother from hell; my episodes started right after Chris became family. Bailey, she has no idea. Wanna tell her? End this secret once and for all? You won’t lose any cred…except with the church leadership; they will actively suspend you until you’re treated but at least you’ll have a reason to push harder to end this habit. But this is not a habit; just a slip.
“I don’t know, Mum. Must be because I forgot to change them. Thanks for the new ones.”
No response, thank goodness.
I started to feel uneasily good. I first mistook it for some random thing but then I started to stare at my laptop and the images started to form in my mind again. Oh no, not again! I turned and faced the wall. My bed was too comfortable and my willpower was getting weaker. Must Get Up! Must Get up! Must get up! Must…get…up. Must…get…up…must…get…oh what the hell; those models are insanely hot anyway; totally out of my league. No, that was not what I wanted to say!
I lay there with a world of guilt and a mind controlled by reflex while the whimpers and erotic screams streamed through my headset. My right hand slowly disappeared under the sheets and found its way to my thigh. Here we go again, this will take a while. The seemingly guilty feeling I had about feeling good about a thing I hated soon turned into pure yet routine pleasure. There was nothing new about this place. I got here and left here the exact same way, all the time!
Soon my right hand went inward and my left hand increased the volume. Yes, go on, make me happy. Man, how I would pound a lot harder if that was me. Come on, be a man; put in the work and stop being lazy!
Just when I’d settled in, the lights came on out of nowhere.
”Bailey? What are you doing lying in bed this early? And why was your room so dark?”
Oh crap, close shave again! My left hand had already hit the pause button and removed my headset before my consciousness kicked in. “Nothing mum, just reading my bible.”
“In the dark with your headset on? And why read your bible on your laptop? You know how I feel about that. How will you hear God speaking with your headset on? And I’ve told you time and again that your bible must be in your hand when you read it if you want to actually feel something from reading it.” My right hand quickly slid back up and grabbed the sheet from under, just in case my aunts, who were standing in the doorway right beside my mum with a very unusual look, decided to act like themselves and pull it off me. “Look, your aunts and I have an errand to run. Get out of bed and make yourself useful.” Right before she slammed the door behind her, I caught my aunts looking at each other and nodding with what seemed like a giggle.
Now, do I get back to business and the multitude of tabs which I’ve opened but I know damn well I will not be able to get to? Or do I just…wait, what are they saying?
“Bailey? No. Chris maybe but Bailey? No way. He’s too good and too smart for that. He is basically a matured man in a young man’s body, why would you think that about him?”
“Did you see anything that happened at all? His hand was nowhere in sight and his face looked flushed. Hell, he was this close to jumping up when you opened the door! What, you think he was watching Passion of the Christ?”
“What are you trying to imply? It’s one thing for you to think my son was doing something bad but to insinuate what I think you’re insinuating is just wrong.”
“Think about it. Your son either has a very colorful bible on his laptop or he just really loves staring at things that will make you take showers in holy water for a year. You really should check on him a lot more.” My aunties laughed but my mum sounded mad at this point.
“Take your mouth off my son! He’s single and a grown man and cannot be doing what you think he’s doing! Now, are we going or not?”
The further their footsteps got from my door, the lower my heart sunk. Poor mum, defending my honor and integrity as if I had any left at all. Those witches! How did they figure out what was happening? Why do I even care? This is not an addiction like they’re suggesting! I’m not an addict; this is just a temporary problem. Here comes that buzz again. Time to watch the unholy bump and grind.
“Bailey, your girl is here! Are you going to step out or does she have to come in?” Chris was not the person I wanted to announce the arrival of a woman whose name he was grossly unfit to mention. I walked out and as soon as she saw me, Martha turned around.
Chris teased, “Oops, I’m guessing she’s never seen you in boxers before. Come on, Marty, he’s wearing boxers; his syringe is well-hidden.”
“Get your nasty mouth away from me! And Bailey, please go back in and put on some shorts.”
I laughed silently, knowing that if I laughed out loud, she would leave. “Come on, Martha, its fine; I’m not causing you to think unhealthy thoughts, am I?”
For a brief moment, a smile started to form on her face but, in classic Martha fashion, that smile was quickly replaced by a blank face with a deadly blank stare. “I turned around. Happy? Now go put on some shorts.” She turned back around and faced away from me. I went inside to put shorts on and Chris spotted an opportunity to meddle.
“You like him, tell him. God knows he’s an extremely miserable man and I’m honestly tired of him hounding me around.”
“What, so I’m supposed to be your buffer? Who says I like him like that?”
“That smile you have on your face right now says you do.”
“If it makes any difference to your severely warped mind, I’m not interested in guys until my Ph. D. is done. So try not to fill his head with ideas because he’s been off lately, not that you would notice.”
“Martha, how can you be a nice person to Bailey and then just be completely mean to me?”
“Because you tried to do things to my sister and I don’t appreciate young men acting like adolescents because of tail. I actually tried to get Bailey to be nicer to you but after that, you lost my support.”
Classic Martha, serving it straight. I really liked this woman but I was too messed up to tell her that; I would really have hated to destroy the great relationship we had going and I wasn’t sure she could handle my huge secret.
“You two are the funniest people in the world. You like each other so much, yet you act like dating is an abomination or something. If Bailey’s not being a man about it, you be the man about it and tell him how you feel!”
“Chris, not everyone’s mind is screwed up like yours. People can be extremely close friends without dating each other; it’s called brotherly love.”
“Brotherly love. That’s how they all start and then by the time they realize, it’s become sleepover love, then move-in-together love, then kid-forming love and then they start to wonder how things happened so fast. I’m just saying that you two should be honest with each other for once. It is alright to be attracted to each other and I’m all for the two of you becoming a thing because everyone knows that Bailey Mowbry and Martha Barrons are attracted to each other except Bailey Mowbry and Martha Barrons.”
“Chris, get out of my face now.”
“Yes ma’am, Mrs. Martha Mowbry.” The footsteps that followed implied that Martha almost chased him to slap him after he made that last comment.
Martha wasn’t one to end an argument like that; she wouldn’t even give you the time to have a point to argue with. She was very quick to shut arguments down with style, yet somehow Chris had managed to throw her off her game completely. There had to be some element of truth in what he said, otherwise she would have finished him off by now. Bailey, this is Chris; when has he ever been the good guy? Yet you think he may be right? You sure you don’t have any feelings for Martha at all?
“Bailey, how long does it take to put on shorts? Hurry.” I had already put the shorts on, so I stepped out. “You look handsome,” she said, with a big smile on her face. Another abnormality.
“Martha, is everything alright? You’re smiling.”
“What, I’ve never smiled at you before?”
“Uh…no…” She kept her menacing stare fixed on my face from my room door till we got out of the house.